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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Criticism of parenting/unsolicited advice

26 replies

Jadefeather7 · 06/12/2019 18:55

My uncle’s wife (who has never really liked her in laws but suddenly wants to spend time with me because she loves babies) recently met my baby son at my parents house. It was around 4pm which is usually when he gets grisly and starts fussing. My uncle’s wife kept saying he’s getting upset by seeing so many people. I told her that he’s like this at this time most days. He goes to baby groups and visits people and is usually fine if it’s not too late. In fact he was perfectly happy at my parents house from 2-4pm. She then spoke to my mum a few days later and told her that because I didn’t take my son out much in the early days (he was a very unsettled baby who screamed all the time for the first 3 months) that’s why he doesn’t like being around new people and new environments and with my next baby I shouldn’t make the same mistake. She also obviously said this to her daughter (my cousin) who messaged me to say “lovely to see the baby, you should get him out more so he’s more social”. Surely people realise that it’s very normal for babies to cry?

This is the sort of stuff I might have expected from some people in my in laws who are pretty old fashioned but everyone has been great and supportive.

Am I being unreasonable to feel annoyed at this? How do you deal with judgemental people like this?

OP posts:
Jadefeather7 · 07/12/2019 09:24

My aunt has basically always psycho analysed us despite having no qualifications to do so. Apparently my uncle and my mum are messed up because their parents are divorced. The effects of that divorce have effected my mothers ability to be a good parent which explains me and my siblings. We are not perfect but we do try to treat people respectfully. I wouldn’t ever offer my analysis of why I think someone is the way they are, even if I did sit there analysing them. It seems to now be happening with my son. Searching for historic reasons for why he is the way he is.

OP posts:
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