Separated for 4yrs, divorced for 2 yet DC ‘dad’ gets worse not better. For example, never replies to emails or texts about DC. Only confirms pick-up the day of, after DC have text/called numerous times to get his attention. They are primary age kids for heavens sake. Only sees them once a fortnight, no formal plan in place. He never calls or texts them (he bought them phones so he could stay in touch!). We don’t know if he’s coming or not. Refuses to plan. Email sent 2 weeks ago with draft dates for Xmas. No reply but tells DC that mummy doesn’t want to spend Xmas all together! Kids distraught of course, had to unpick that when they came back to me last time. For the past 3 years I’ve gone over to his house and had lunch together. The atmosphere has got worse and worse with each year. The DC haven’t seemed to notice but I feel they are too old not to this year. He doesn’t speak to me at all! It makes me quite ill. I think he has some form of BPD as he point blank puts himself first. This evening, refused to pick up at 6pm rather than 5.45 as requested (DS asked because DC wanted to come to the vet appt for our poorly cat) because he’d been driving and away from home all week. A total control freak. Likes to withhold on the maintenance 4 or 5 times a year until I ask for it. Refuses to give maintenance for August because if he did then he wouldn’t be able to take them on holiday and I would have to pay for childcare instead. Those are his words! Any advice anyone? Will someone like this ever change? He was mostly emotionally and financially abusive in our relationship. Sadly it developed over time, so subtle and I’d make excuses for him until one day I woke up and realised our relationship wasn’t actually how a ‘partnership’ should feel/be. Some shared experiences of controlling ex’s who seem intent on using DC to emotionally abuse would be helpful right now. I feel like I’m losing my mind!