To think it's not necessary to meet friends' partners?

[BoxtheRight]

A good friend of mine, who I used to see a couple of times a week, has been in a relationship since September. When I text her now asking if she wants to meet it, she's usually busy with her new partner. Totally fine and understandable.

But she's taken to only texting me to say 'are you free to meet DP on X date?' DP has a child and DF wants me to go along to meet them both.

I don't want to go to a farm or whatever with a stranger and their child, it's my friend I want to see. I know she's excited to introduce us and I feel a bit guilty, but it's my friend I want to see, not her partner.

It happens quite regularly with friends getting into a new relationship and then getting the 'we'll have to arrange a night for you to meet my new DP'.

AIBU to think we don't need a special introduction and that it's irritating to try and pressure people into it?

I'm sorry OP but I think your the weird one by thinking this. Of course friends want you to meet their partners as in the future you might be around them. Fair enough you don't need to meet the child but I'm now friends with all my friends partners. We go out in a group or in couples etc. If I popped to a friends house it's nice to have a little chat with their partner or at least say hello ask how they are.

Why would you not wish to meet them, it's not like it's a 1 to 1. She will be there too.

Are you single?

I don't mind meeting them naturally and going out with them in groups for special occasions or whatever, I just hate the scheduled me/friend/new partner dynamic. It's just a night of 'what do you do for a living? Where do you live?' etc small talk.

Are you single? Yeah I am. Perhaps if I had a partner it would make it less irritating to have to go out and basically be a third wheel.

If I popped to a friends house it's nice to have a little chat with their partner or at least say hello ask how they are.

I would always do this, whether I'd met them before or not.

Why not offer to pop round for a cuppa one day/ night when the dp is there?
I'd not want a formal meeting but would be happy to do this.

I’m with you OP, I know my friends partners because you just end up meeting them naturally as the relationship moves on but they are not my friends ordinarily (some of them have become friends because I get to know them and they’re nice people).
I’ve never understood the need to introduce friends to new partners and I really wouldn’t want to go and join a friend and a new partner on a date.

By all means go and meet them. It will be fine. Have a good time. Slip into the convo if she’s free on soandso date so the two of you can go for drinks. He’s there to say yes or no I’ve booked xyz or whatever. Although your friend shouldn’t need his permission but they’re in the first few months of romance, I get it, but she still needs to make time for a ladies night now and again.

However I’m more concerned that the kids been introduced to the new partner in under three months, ffs, what were they thinking.

I voted YABU but thinking about it I get where you are coming from. Having her partner there will change the dynamic and your natural topic of conversation.
I'm not changing my vote though. She's excited and wants you to meet him. Bollocks to the farm park though. I barely get excited by my own children let alone a strangers. Go with the PP suggestion of popping in for a cuppa.
Then wait for the honeymoon phase to wane. You'll hopefully get some one on one with your friend again.

By all means go and meet them. It will be fine.

It will be fine, and I'll end up feeling guilty so will go, but I don't want to. I've spent so many evenings making small talk with friends' partners when I've got little interest in them, it's the friend I want to see. I can't understand why they'd think I'm as enthusiastic about their partners as they are. I'm very pleased for them, but I'm also very busy, so when we get a chance to meet up it's nice to talk about topics you can't talk about in front of a partner.

I really wouldn’t want to go and join a friend and a new partner on a date. Yeah, that's how it feels. Being hassled to go and be a third wheel on a date.

However I’m more concerned that the kids been introduced to the new partner in under three months, ffs, what were they thinking. It didn't take them three months! In this particular case they were introduced on the second date.