17 month, delayed? unsociable?

[Babybop67]

my boy has always been delayed by a few months. So he didnt sit until 10 months, didnt crawl until 15 months and hoping he will walk soon.

He has been pulling up and cruising on furniture for a while. He does interact with others, likes playing peek a boo and being read too. etc Always gives attention if called his name. Tries to say words ( no actual words yet) but not too concerned about this yet.

My main concern is this:

He has never liked hugs, kisses and pushes away since newborn, even when upset never rested his head on my chest. For a few months he has become more of a daddys boy and shows affection in his own way to him. Ie gets very happy when he comes home, pushes me away to see him. He also gets very happy when sees grandparents.

When its just the 2 of us he is happy and content but never shows me affection like he does with my husband/ grandad . I am a stay at home mum and play with him all day, sing , dance but sadly i feel we have not bonded.

He has never cried if i leave the room when out and about and when i pick him up from grandparents he doesnt even smile at me, acts like im a stranger. This baby is loved dearly by me so feel sad about this.

When at playgroups, if I leave the room again he does not look for me etc. I have also recently noticed that he doesnt like playing if other kids same age come up to him and he doesnt know what to do and cries. He has been going to these groups since 3 months few times a week.

Its my first child and wondering if this is all neurotypical behaviour, or should i be seeking help?

Thank you so much.

my 4 year old is globally delayed. She can be strange with showing affection to people and generally caring if they are about or not.

i would say if you have concerns, start raising them now, as early intervention has massively helped her. She started at a special pre pre school when she was only 2 years and 3 months, is now in reception year and we are really feeling the benefit. She has only just started to show more emotion towards her daddy and brother.

I’m afraid at 17 months there’s no way to say for sure, one way or another. Although what you describe does sound a little unusual, it could be something or it could be nothing.

I had concerns about my son at a similar age (mainly around lack of speech) and it was 2-2.5 years of turmoil before I could say I knew for sure he was autistic.

What I would do is wait for his two year check, and see what transpires after that.

Or you could contact your HV/GP now, if you prefer.

they way you word your post I can read between the lines that you are worried about ASD. I have a DD with severe autism and would be the last one to tell you off for worrying.

Google M-Chat. It's a screening questionnaire which tries to identify children who might end up with an ASD dx. It's not a diagnostic tool.

Do the test and if it flags you up, discuss the results with the HV or GP.

I’m afraid at 17 months there’s no way to say for sure, one way or another.

other countries diagnose that early. it's just the UK where no paed ever sees the child unless there are concerns and where you won't get referred if under 2 and where you then linger on waiting lists for years without diagnosis nor help where you will be told it's to young to raise it.

Fair enough @moccaicecream 🤷‍♀️ I only know the UK system.

Surprised that a definitive diagnosis of something like autism could happen under the age of two, however.

I dont know op he sounds very similar to my 17 month old dc3, also not walking only very few words. He did go through a separation anxiety phase but not really now I am not worried about him at all though.

DD hated hugs and stuff when she was little. She wasn't very affectionate at all, not very sociable, screamed whenever kids came near.

She's ten now and she is the most huffy, social kid I know.

Thank you . mine too had a separation anxiety stage at around 8 months but now only if a stranger tries to pick him up. Otherwise no issue. Did yours not like hugs or and cuddles either. I see so many babies feeling so content when mum hugs but mine pushes me away. breaks my heart. He sits on my lap if i read to him or play but again he wont rest conformable on me.

Minty Bell. How long did that unsocial behaviour last for? He enjoys playing with adults but find it strange how he is with other kids and his lack of affection to his mother.

I can't comment on the other things but neither of mine wanted to interact with other children until they were about 2.5/3. I was concerned with ds1 that he seemed almost frightened of children at the age yours is now (although he also interacted well with adults). They both play with and enjoy the company of other children now, so that in itself isn't a cause for concern IMO.

You say he shows affection to his dad and his grandparents, not to you. That doesn't sound like autism, it just sounds like some sort of taking mum for granted, albeit that he is so young.

People always say trust your instincts. On the other hand everyone is different and I always felt like the milestones in baby books were the earliest ones, but they were presented as averages - eg the average baby crawls at 7 months but actually the average is 10 (that's an example by the way, I don't know what the average for crawling is, and I didn't crawl at all!). And then you worry because you think your child is later than average but actually they may be average.

As for playing - don't kids at this age play alongside each other rather than with each other?

My son was late doing everything before he started school. He's now studying for three A levels at sixth form college and is pretty well adjusted - and he can talk and doesn't just grunt.

My 11 month hates being embraced, like yours even as a newborn.
When he hurts himself he goes for me then pushes me away - hard! - when I try and comfort him.

He does cry when I leave the room but only since I've gone back to work 2 weeks ago. Otherwise he probably wouldn't have done that.

My other babies were very cuddly so not so long ago I was posting on here about my very non-cuddly baby and I was told it was common.

Did your baby bumshuffle?

Only because bumshufflers tend to not crawl or crawl later and often are late walkers.

From what you’ve posted I’m not sure. My DD wasn’t into hugs and cuddles at all until she turned 2 and then she became super affectionate. She’s fine being left at daycare, with grandparents (she’s staying with my parents now, who she hasn’t seen in 6 months and just waved me off), she will now ask where someone has gone if they leave the room but that’s very new. Children also don’t really play together until they’re about 3 so that sounds relatively normal too. She did hit all of her physical milestones early though. Can you see your doctor or health visitor and ask them for their opinion?

I agree with others- if you are concerned speak to HV or GP for reassurance but on the flip side my DD was like this, slow to walk/move at all and never liked cuddles even as a tiny new born she didn't want to be cuddled and didnt like playing or being around other children really and I too was very worried/upset by it but she is 2 and 9 months now and a happy sociable, she still hates cuddles but on the whole she shows a lot more affection than previously, she isn't the best with other children - she still very much plays near them rather than with them but I don't have any major concerns about her and her child minder and HV don't either.

Hello I was wondering how your little one is now if you