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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Joint birthday party. 2 presents?

14 replies

Superlooper · 05/12/2019 20:38

Dd has a classmate / friend called Mary.

Now Mary is having a birthday party and has invited dd. However, Mary has a big sister and the invite is "Mary and Martha invite dd to their joint birthday party"

Should I get both girls a birthday present or just Mary? She's not friends with Martha and wouldn't have been invited to Martha's party if it were a stand alone one.

OP posts:
ferntwist · 05/12/2019 20:41

A little something for both girls would be nicest. It doesn’t have to be big or expensive, maybe just a little box of Maltesers each.

LoisLittsLover · 05/12/2019 20:43

No, i would just buy for the child that yours is friends with

HanginWithMyGnomies · 05/12/2019 20:44

I’d just buy for the classmate. I’d imagine it’s a joint party for ease and only one present for the ‘friend’ of the child would be expected.

MyView2 · 05/12/2019 20:46

I think it’s acceptable to just get a present for Mary. My son’s had a joint party this year and both names were printed on the invitation and I was worried people would feel obliged to buy two presents so got the boys to explain as they handed them out they were invited as that boy’s guest to the party. Only those who are friends with both of them gave two presents.

Fr0g · 05/12/2019 20:46

what is the age difference ?
could you buy a board game that they could share?

Pipandmum · 05/12/2019 20:50

Presumably Martha will be inviting her own friends. I'd just get a present for your daughter's friend.

RedskyToNight · 05/12/2019 20:52

I'd get a proper present for the actual friend and a token gift for the other one.

bridgetreilly · 05/12/2019 20:53

One present is fine. Also the vote needs explanation. Which option is YABU and which is YANBU?

EstrellaGalicia · 05/12/2019 21:08

Depending on the age of the kids get them a board game they can play together and maybe some chocolate or something each.

DarlingCoffee · 05/12/2019 21:12

I would personally get them both a small gift but I think it would be equally acceptable just to get the friend a gift too.

ColdRainAgain · 05/12/2019 21:42

I do shared parties for my kids.
DS1s friends get an invite from just DS1.
DS2s friends get an invite from just DS2.
I would just do a present for DDs friend. And uf you really feel bad, a token poundlabd colouring book, or box of chocs.

For me, it was a cost and time saving on sharing a party (birthdays several years and 4 days apart). I'd be upset if it ended up costing my guests double the amount because they felt 2 presents were required.

Addsverisimilitude · 06/12/2019 08:30

We had lots of these. People only did presents for the child they were friends with.

Original poster
Superlooper · 07/12/2019 18:23

Thanks all, I just went with a present for the friend, glad I'm not the only one thinking this ok

OP posts:
Original poster
Superlooper · 07/12/2019 18:23

And didn't mean to add the voting option

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