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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Did I mess colleague around?

34 replies

binnn · 05/12/2019 19:21

Yesterday colleague rang me asking if I wanted to grab a drink at 7 pm before going to a work event. I reluctantly said sure ( I wanted to have plenty of time to travel without time pressure). It takes about 1hr 30 mins to get to Manchester from my house, this colleague is based there.

At around 5 I was pulled into an emergency meeting. I texted colleague and told her to make her own way to event/have a drink without me. My colleague insisted we had plenty of time and to continue with the plan but at a slightly later time. As I got on the train I rang colleague and gave my estimated ETA.

During the journey, I texted my colleague that the train was delayed due to signal failure. I once again apologised and said suggested she make her own way to the event. At this point she tells me (via text) she needs to use my phone to ring our other colleague to get explicit directions.

As I make my way to the event space I tell my colleague that my phone is also dying and that I was 5 mins away from train station. No response.

I walk past our meeting spot (slightly late) and do not see her. Decide to make my way to the event.

When I get there I don't see my colleague but charge my phone and try to contact her - no luck - realise her phone has died. I ask the other colleague to also keep ringing her.

On my way home I get quite a passive-aggressive text where she tells me she went home as she got tired of waiting in the cold. Was I in the wrong?

The colleague had the address and the colleague who was already at the event told me she had told her she was familiar with the street/area.

OP posts:
BathshebaKnickerStickers · 05/12/2019 21:12

I hope nothing about this work event was meant to be professional.

Pre event drinks, just not going....

No work event I’ve attended

StrayWoman · 05/12/2019 21:13

YANBU, you kept her updated the whole time, tried to cancel pre-drinks when you knew you were late, she persisted. What more could you have done?

binnn · 05/12/2019 21:16

The event was extremely professional involving the worlds biggest corporations.

In my colleague's defence, I know she is teetotal so we most likely would have had coke/juice.

OP posts:
cstaff · 05/12/2019 21:35

I know you said she is older than you but going on what you have said, she sounds like a child. She needs to grow the fuck up. Ridiculous carry on for an adult. Btw OP you did everything in your power to make sure she was ok. She does seem to be extremely needy.

Getoffmylilo · 05/12/2019 21:57

Maybe she suffers from some level of social anxiety so wanted to turn up with someone. A colleague of mine suffers from this and used to make endless excuses not to attend things or make very complicated arrangements before hand. She'd often vanish from things without warning as well if left on her own even very briefly. In her own environment, home and work, she's fine, life and soul. She eventually explained to a couple of us, although she doesn't know why it happens and doesn't like talking about it.

binnn · 05/12/2019 22:04

I honestly don't think my colleague has social anxiety going off of past experiences (impossible to know ofc).

OP posts:
SickNotes · 05/12/2019 22:08

You did nothing wrong.

loseyourself · 05/12/2019 22:25

Yes, she really didn't want to go in alone, to the extent that when you didn't show she opted to go home and is probably (hopefully frustrated with herself and taking it out on you). You didn't do anything wrong, it was just a bad luck journey with a person at the end of it relying more on you than you imagined.

BumbleBeee69 · 05/12/2019 23:19

She's sounds ridiculously needy... she wanted to go home... fine.

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