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To be reluctant to do this 'wifework'?

127 replies

Polowithoutahole · 05/12/2019 16:30

So I've been with DP for five years and we have recently moved in together, both of us have DC from previous marriages and we all get along well. DP's EXW has suggested that as part of this going forwards, that from now on we will be responsible for the purchasing or presents and cards etc from the children - i.e. her husband (she's remarried) will buy them on behalf of the kids for her birthday/Mother's Day/Xmas and I will buy them for DP for his birthday/Father's Day/Xmas.

DP has offered to finance this (as we don't share finances beyond bills/rent) but my greater concern is having the time. I work FT, have a long commute and my own DC I have the majority of care for. DP only has his DC EOW from Friday night until Sunday Eve. The DC are used to having the time to go out shopping for presents as their Mum doesn't work and they don't do after school clubs, and I'm just not able to dedicate that kind of time. But on the other side I feel mean for not being accommodating as I do still buy DP presents for his birthday and Xmas but from me.

As much as I like his DC, I just think this is giving me more to do - the time aside there is the additional brainspace/wifework element of having to be super organized about this and I struggle enough to get everything done in my life as it is. DP is keen, as is his EXW presumably as it means less organizing for them, and he says it will 'cement' us as a family unit of our own. But AIBU to not being particularly keen?

OP posts:
Jennifer2r · 06/12/2019 18:02

Im pretty sure when we were children we would draw my dad a picture for his birthday. Or glue some pasta on a piece of paper and write I LOVE YOU DAD on it. Until we were old enough to go to the shops with our own pocket money or paper round money.

Wtf is all this about he gives you money for you to buy him gifts from them?

lovemenorca · 06/12/2019 18:14

An overblown way of saying

“I don’t want to do this”

Fair enough. But it’s really not the logistical nightmare you are trying to make out here. Bear in mine you’re talking mainly to mothers with children. Five mins squirrelled in a bedroom with the step children having a squizz at Amazon, they look whilst you sort out your knicker drawer or out away laundry, they select, you press buy and choose the option to be wrapped if this causes you too much of a headache

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