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AIBU?

Not wanting to sit near ex

8 replies

dontwanttosit · 05/12/2019 14:22

Namechanged.
DS nativity coming up next week.
My ex (DS And DD father) split up a year and a half ago. He is really abusive towards me as he was during the relationship.
He attempted to have me convicted of assault after he tried to break through my door earlier this year. It all came out in court he was lying and charges were dropped.
He accuses me of being the reason he is a drug addict.
Calls me all the names under the sun.
On and off with contact with his kids (his choice)
I always invite him to the kids things eg. Parents evening, plays, shows etc. He never turns up.
So this year for DS nativity I didn't bother to invite him.
I can't stand being around him at all.
In the past 3 weeks he has seen his kids once for 3 hours (again his choice)
DS had mentioned to his great gran that he is playing Joseph in the nativity. She said she wants to come. Asked her to confirm last night that she was coming as was buying tickets today. She said she will be along with great grandad and kids dad (he will be getting forced to go by his grandparents)
I get in really well with them both they are angels and do so much for me and the kids. They also know that they're grandson is a waster.
It's put me in a really awkward position. My dad wanted to come but after all that I've been put through he probably won't want to be anywhere near him and Decline.
If he doesn't go then I'll be left to sit myself (not a big deal I'm happy with that)
I've got a feeling GGM and GGF will want me to sit with them but I really don't want to be anywhere near ex. Main reason I believe there may be conflict that I want to avoid.

AIBU to sit elsewhere or should I suck it up?
Is it best for DS to see us sitting with each other even if he starts an argument?
If I do sit with them should I ignore him to avoid any kick offs or should I attempt to make small talk?
Unsure what to do. How would you deal with this situation.

OP posts:
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OrangeZog · 05/12/2019 14:25

I’d just say to them that you are more than happy to get tickets for them but sure they understand that due to your ex’s attendance, you and your dad will be sitting elsewhere.

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Doyoumind · 05/12/2019 14:26

You don't have to sit with them. Contact ggps in advance and tell them you don't feel comfortable sitting with him. Tell your dad you won't be sitting with them and you would like him to come.

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GinDaddy · 05/12/2019 14:26

Sit elsewhere.

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AnneLovesGilbert · 05/12/2019 14:28

You don’t have to sit with him! Tell her you’ve got the tickets and you know she’ll understand you sitting separately so it’s a peaceful even focussed on your son and you’ll look forward to catching up with her afterwards/at a later date.

DH and his ex don’t get on so at the last nativity play (kids don’t do them anymore) we sat on one side, ex and her dad sat the other side and the kids were absolutely fine.

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GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 05/12/2019 14:29

Sit wherever you damn well want to!

Sorry he's been such a shit, but good that his grandparents know the score and support you. I'm sure they will understand!

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GruciusMalfoy · 05/12/2019 14:40

Just sit elsewhere. If they are decent people they will understand.

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CuriousaboutSamphire · 05/12/2019 14:45

Hi GGM/F,

I hope you enjoy FCs nativity. He is really excited that you are coming.

I am sure that, knowing how ex has been, you will understand when my DF and I don't come and sit next to you. I just want to avoid any possibility of discomfort for everyone.

Love, Dontwant...

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GiveHerHellFromUs · 05/12/2019 14:47

Yeah definitely just explain to them beforehand. They sound like reasonable people.

However I'd also be considering stopping contact all together if he's a drug addict.

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