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Am i being unreasonable?

16 replies

inmyshoos · 05/12/2019 11:55

I came down with a horrible 24 hr bug yesterday. Was in bed all day felt very ill.
Partner was at work but said if i was off sick today he'd come see me. Tbh i did say i didnt want him to catch the bug. Lots of calls and messages to check on me.

Today he didnt offer to come so i assumed doesnt want to get bug and he is recovering from a cold and said he felt rubbish but then later when i messaged and offered he can come over he was off out doing his hobby. Which i know makes him feel better but i can't help feeling a little disappointed that there was no offer today of coming over when he was so insistent yesterday that he'd come even if he had to wear a mask. Maybe he just felt he'd rather do his hobby and not risk the bug. Just makes me feel a little less cared for but maybe im being all dramatic because im under the weather!!


OP posts:

ellesbellesxxx · 05/12/2019 11:57

In the nicest possible way, yes Yabu... he probably thought that as you said you didn’t want him to catch the bug that he was fine to go out and I again mean thiskindly, I wouldn’t want to come near the bug!


ellesbellesxxx · 05/12/2019 11:57

Hope you feel better soon


Paddy1234 · 05/12/2019 11:58

Oh bless - hope you are felling better but I wouldn't come near you with a barge pole!


StrayWoman · 05/12/2019 12:02

It's hard to know what people mean when they say partner on here.

Do you mean boyfriend of only a few months that you don't live with?

Or partner of many years?


inmyshoos · 05/12/2019 12:03

Yeah i wouldn't want to give him this but i think it was his insisting he'd come yesterday but then no mention of it today.
Yesterday i felt really cared for, like i could rely on him, today i just feel a bit dumped but I'll get over it Sad

OP posts:

inmyshoos · 05/12/2019 12:04

stray long term partner but we don't live together.

OP posts:

Throwawayteachere · 05/12/2019 12:07

You said no to him visiting and that you didn't want him to catch your illness so you can't be upset he hasn't come. I think maybe your illness is making you feel a bit down and you are more upset than you would be normally?


user1471449295 · 05/12/2019 12:09

Yabu and hard work


andpancakesforbreakfast · 05/12/2019 12:12


You were really unwell, he offered to help.
You are better today, and he has plans, why should he cancel them? Unless you specifically ask him for help - and we don't know he wouldn't come straight away, you are massively BU.

Don't be that needy, it really is not attractive.


inmyshoos · 05/12/2019 12:15

I didnt say no throwaway i just said i really dont want him to get this bug. But later on the phone he said he would come over and wear a mask etc. I didn't ever say no or dont come.

If he said today look if you're sure your fine and dont need anything i will just stay away then id feel ok fair enough. It was the lack of care on offer today after feeling so cared for yesterday. Today it makes me feel yesterday was just lip service ... but i know im probably super sensitive from being unwell.

OP posts:

AryaStarkWolf · 05/12/2019 12:16

YABU, VU, you told him you didn't want him to catch the bug, that was good advice and he took it


Deadsouls · 05/12/2019 12:19

YABU - also you are feeling ill and vulnerable which is affecting your mood and perspective.
I'd not buy into these thoughts. When you feel better, reassess and if it still feels hurtful, revisit then. Just don't pay it any mind.

Relax and get well soon.


GiveHerHellFromUs · 05/12/2019 12:20

You told him not to come because you don't want to pass it on to him so he's listened and now is in the wrong for doing something else instead?



Neome · 05/12/2019 12:20

You are being ill with a virus (I'm guessing) which can often make people feel a bit down especially as you recover.

If you want to feel less down things like a gratitude list, reading or watching something that will make you laugh and consciously trying to turn your thoughts away from anything gloomy might stop the bug dragging into a puddle of self pity.

Your partner sounds like he loves you very much. How about sending him a message saying you miss him and how much it meant to you that he was willing to visit yesterday?

Get well soon Flowers


inmyshoos · 05/12/2019 12:22

Ok im feeling better that you all think iabu before i let my pissed-offness grow arms and legs.
The beauty of mumsnet Smile
Thank you ladies Flowers

OP posts:

Neome · 05/12/2019 12:27

Xmas Grin Crown Smile🦖

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