When you can't put your finger on it

[Eggies]

I believe 100% that it's always best to trust your 'gut feeling', but sometimes I can't figure out why I'm having this reaction or it never comes to light.

I have an 'off' feeling about my landlord. He has never given me any indication he is anything but a friendly, hard-working, honest man and father. Yet there's always been something I can't put my finger on that doesn't feel good at all. It doesn't affect anything, I rarely see him and I'm definitely not going to make unfair assumptions about him. But it just bugs me, mainly because my gut feeling feels really not good, almost unpleasant if he so much as comes to mind.

Does anyone else ever have this unexplained aversion to people/places etc? Would be interesting to hear about some.

There was a man I used to serve in the golf club I worked at and he was so odious to me that I couldn't bear to touch his money or glass.

He was as normal looking as all the other customers...just an average man, clean and well dressed but I could not BEAR him.

No idea why to this day. I was always pleasant etc but I wish I knew why I had that feeling.

That's very intriguing Pp. It's so strange it does make you wonder what we're picking up on!

No, never. If I don’t like someone or they make me feel uncomfortable I can always tell you why.

You might have known them in a past life!

i know what you mean someone i knew through a club we went to came across as friendly always helping out, something about him got my radar going was polite to him but couldnt stand him, turns out he was a wife beater and it all came out so my instinct about him was spot on

Gut reactions are rarely incorrect, its that fight or flight reaction. When we meet we subconsciously scan others to see if they are a threat. Some of us are more tuned than others. I had a difficult childhood, my stepfather was very violent. He tried to strangle me once as an indication of the levels. It means I’m a very switched on person and pick up minute stuff. I have met people who I’m unsure of but I have met two people who I was petrified of. One was a man through a charity I volunteered at, he was charming at face value. I used to feel physically sick when dealing with him. Turns out he had a history of violence against women and had tried to kill a man and been in prison many times, The woman was a work colleague in another dept who I occasionally had meetings with. I confided in another colleague once and she was relieved because she had what she thought was an irrational fear. We never found out anything about her.

I'm so sorry you went through such horrific violence PP :( I definitely agree with you, it's like an inbuilt mechanism we have to alert us to potential danger.

DS1 is 14 now and when he was about 6 he went to play at a friend's house we knew well; he'd been there frequently, their DC had been to ours often, we were close to them. The friend's Mum had a new partner and the DP was there that day. DS1 came home and that night asked me if it was ok to dislike an adult, obviously I explained it was fine and asked a few questions about who/when etc. DS1 said "X just gives me a funny feeling in my tummy". There was no unkindness he could tell me about, no touching, no abuse, nothing, he even said he had no idea why the adult made him so unhappy. He was adamant that the new partner had been lovely, but just gave him a strange feeling that he never wanted to be around them again. He hadn't ever spoken that way about anyone before and I realised that I needed to take it seriously.

I listened and accepted it and never made DS1 go there again as he was so worried and eventually the friendship drifted. We're 8 years on now and the DP is now the spouse of my old friend and is residing at HMP for the next 7 years for indecent offences against young women. To this day I have no idea if DS1 picked up on something the partner gave off, or if it was just dumb luck that he took against that person. Whatever it was, I'm grateful that he spoke up and that we listened.

As an aside I am the least 'woo' person on earth, and rarely get spooked or scared. DS1 has Autism and has always been incredible at the non-verbal stuff - cues that I don't always pick up on or notice. His capacity for recognising and recalling people and details about them is phenomenal and I wonder if it was that which helped him pick up on who the DP really was.

Wow! It's great that you listened to him and allowed him to stay away from the dp. I think a lot of parents would probably tell their child they're being silly and take no notice sadly. But children can definitely pick up on these things too. Possibly even more so than a lot of adults!

I hugely believe in my gut. I've never had a reaction of feeling scared but I have had very strong reactions as to whether people are nice or not. Never been wrong.

My children all have it too.
Always trust your gut is my mantra.
It will make be wary, which isn't a bad thing.

One of our neighbours is like this, he's just uber creepy. His son is friends with DS and I actively avoid him but it's sometimes inevitable! Ugh

Have you ever read The Gift of Fear?its all about listening to those gut feelings, by a security expert. Very interesting!

I never liked one of my uncles growing up, never knew why but he just gave me the creeps, even though I always had pleasant interactions with him. Turned out years later that he was a child molester and a pathological liar.

Gut instinct is your subconscious picking up on important cues, and children and animals can pick up on things more than some adults because an adult I think is more likely to rationalize the feelings away as crazy or unfounded. It’s important to pay attention to those feelings!

I've learnt to listen to my gut as I've got older. I don't think having a gut feeling is actual 'woo' (I am not woo in the slightest) I think it comes down to minute things we pick up on, whether it is the way someone moves, talks or looks etc and our subconscious brain picks up on those which creates the 'gut feeling'.

There have been three people over the years who I have had the 'gut feeling' with, two of those are in prison now, one for murder and one for sexual assault the other one I stay clear of.

Prior to civilisation, we would have all heavily relied upon our primitive instincts to keep us alive, and out of harm. Socialisation makes us all repress these unexplained feelings as we are taught to be fair, not make irrational judgements about people and not be biased etc. I believe they remain important and have taught my own kids to run with those gut feelings. They may be poor first impressions, or they could be right and keep you out of a whole load of danger. Personally, my instincts have protected me in the past and affected my decision making. Don't feel bad about your perception of your landlord, it is probably true!

A friends dad. My mum had it too. I would avoid going to the house for sleepovers if I knew he was there (he worked away a lot). Later I found out he touched up and tried to kiss one of his daughter’s other friends after dropping her home from a party at theirs when she was 16 and had been provided with alcohol by him. I was disgusted, but I wasn’t surprised.

I get this and it always ‘comes true’ if that makes sense. The longest one is my teenage best friend’s (13-17ish) dad and brother gave me those feelings. I thought I was just awkward.

Came out that both are convicted pedophiles.