To think MNetters take it far too personally if an OP doesn’t take their advice?

[Observingthechocolate]

I’ve seen so many threads (cue someone demanding to know where - over the years) where posters get upset, angry, frustrated and as far as I can see wound up when the OP doesn’t take their advice.

I completely understand it can be really frustrating if you’ve taken the time to post but I’ve been on the other side of this recently and people were making suggestions that I’m sure were meant kindly but were totally impractical.

Then people were coming on and not reading the whole thread, and making the same mistake and then the OP gets flamed for ignoring helpful advice and why did you post.

AIBU to suggest that if you’re going to get wound up over your good advice being ignored then hold back?

I agree, there's a hell of a lot of people not reading the thread, so their advice makes no sense. By all means give advice but don't take it personally if it's ignored.

I think that's fair enough. However, I can see why people get enraged when a particular poster posts multiple times about the same scenario/person and never takes on any advice. Just complains each time. That is annoying.

Or posters who argue with the overwhelming majority because they only want their own views affirmed. In that case, it's no wonder X is happening to them.

I don’t care if posters say they’ll take the advice offered or not - there’s no obligation to do so.

But it can be quite ... frustrating, to the point of being almost distressing, if a poster repeatedly posts about a specific problem and then responds, several times, protesting that there are reasons why they don’t actually want to change the current situation. It can begin to feel as if they’re feeding off the emotion they generate on the thread.

Isn't that like it is in real life sometimes @Surprise? I have a particular friend who dismisses my suggestions but still moans about the same problems over and over again! I think we are on year ten now.

However, some of the advice given is quite blunt and doesn't take into account the poster's emotional state. If everyone was naturally assertive they wouldn't need to post for advice. Standing up to a partner/parent/mother-in-law/friend can be really hard if you're not feeling particularly strong or not used to asserting yourself. Or you are getting used to things that are being pointed out to you that you may not have realised. We are all human after all.

YANBU OP, I think a lot of people get very over-invested in threads and do seem to take it personally when the OP disregards their advice. It's a bit weird when the OP posts a whole load of updates that suggest they haven't actually read any of the replies though.

The other annoying one is when people think they are entitled to almost hourly updates from the OP:

ANY UPDATE OP????!??!?!