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To smother DP?! Light hearted

10 replies

hungryHenry10 · 04/12/2019 18:08

I had a baby two weeks ago, husband took his two weeks paternity leave to help. In that time he’s cooked two dinners and taken the bin out once. Night feeds he’s done 4 - not 4 nights just 4 feeds over night in the two weeks. Constantly complains he tired. Last night attended his work Christmas party got in after 2 am slept in the spare room got up around 2pm feeling the worse for wear. Then slept on the sofa all afternoon currently snoring his head off dribbling. Would I be UR to put a cushion over his face and push hard? I’d love a nap right now but gotta cook the poor tired bunnies tea!
On a slightly serious note I was doing the washing whilst he was resting his pretty little head this afternoon and sorry for TMI his pants were full of jizz stains so do I confront him or do I think perhaps he had a little drunken fiddle last night - seeing as I am not up for going anywhere near him right now. Last time we did anything would have been two days before the baby came along - 2 weeks ago. Id like to think it’s all innocent but I don’t know. Could be reading too much in to it with being tired and hormonal etc.
Oh and just to piss me off a little bit he just opened an eye and said are you joining slimming world?!!! Thanks darlin, remind me to compliment you when your balls are dragging on the floor!

OP posts:

ferntwist · 04/12/2019 18:10

OMG OP you’re the most self-controlled woman in the world for not smothering him now. What a man child.


Sparklesocks · 04/12/2019 18:12

You need to have a proper talk with him and explain he needs to pitch in more.


CoffeeBeansGalore · 04/12/2019 18:14

Start vacuuming!


Far2go46 · 04/12/2019 18:15

Is he in to that sort of thing?


CoffeeBeansGalore · 04/12/2019 18:16

He is being a selfish arse. Talk to him & spell out what you want him to do. If he doesn't listen/ignores you/continues as is, then yes, smother him 😉


Collision · 04/12/2019 18:17

He sounds deeply unattractive.


StCharlotte · 04/12/2019 18:49

FML. I'll smother him for you!


hungryHenry10 · 04/12/2019 19:06

Your comments have all cheered me up I’m laughing my head off in the kitchen, whilst washing! No I don’t have a dish washer (sob sob). He is allergic to animals so I might invite next doors dog round to roll on his pillow just to watch his face swell!
I will speak with him when he’s feeling less delicate and tell him pay back is a mo fo and I’m off out for my works party in two weeks so watch out! I will have a serious chat with him about helping more because I could cry where I feel so tired at this moment in time! But thanks again for all your comments they have definitely made me smile!

OP posts:

hungryHenry10 · 04/12/2019 20:03

Fartogo46 - erm not usually no, well before we lived together I know he used to watch porn but I thought it had stopped since we lived together! But I guess I’m not meeting his needs at the moment... I don’t think he would be silly enough to play away as he knows there are no second chances with me. I’m not in to double dipping!

OP posts:

EKGEMS · 05/12/2019 22:36

Well isn't he just a lovely husband,father and all around great human being?!

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