Mumsnet Logo
My feed

to access all these features


AIBU to be desperate to leave this house straight away.

17 replies

Makinganewthinghappen · 04/12/2019 12:23

I can’t get into too much detail about what has happened but think a crime where we are threatened in our home. It may or may not occur again - it isn’t resolved in anyway.

This happened yesterday and I am in a state. I don’t feel safe here and never will again. I want to leave right now, and go somewhere else. Anywhere. Dh is self
Employed children not at school, we rent out house don’t see why I need to be here having panic attacks and not sleeping because of this. We are a normal, everyday law abiding family and I was already on antidepressants before all of this happened.

My dh is at work now and I just have no idea what I am supposed to be doing!

Dh doesn’t seem why I am quite so upset - he was shaken but he is of the mind let’s see what happens.

OP posts:

OrangeZog · 04/12/2019 12:31

YANBU and I think even minor things like a break in to a car on a driveway can leave some people feeling violated and reassess their home security.

I hope you can either move or else find a way to feel safe staying.


Jog22 · 04/12/2019 12:47

This only happened yesterday? Your DH is a bit dense if he doesn't get why you're feeling shaky. You must be feeling really vulnerable. Flowers


PETRONELLAS · 04/12/2019 12:50

Do practical things. What’s your notice period? Is the landlord involved? Is there an agent you can speak to about adding your own locks/alarm system?
Good luck I would feel the same.


Hidingtonothing · 04/12/2019 12:52

Are you in social housing OP?


Hidingtonothing · 04/12/2019 12:54

Sorry that sounded blunt as a stand alone question, I ask because we were given an emergency move in very similar circumstances.


Makinganewthinghappen · 04/12/2019 12:55

Hiding - No we have a private landlord

OP posts:

Makinganewthinghappen · 04/12/2019 12:58

Petronella - we have an 8 week notice period we did actually apply for a lovely house last week , it was perfect for us so we decided to go for it - without knowing any of this would happen.

We are still waiting to hear back about it but the agency had 10 applications for the house so chances are not good.

There are not many houses to rent in this area tbh it’s a bit of a shit tip in my mind! But DH was brought up here so he is “attached”.

I would move out of this area in a heartbeat - I think DH May be thinking that now as well.

OP posts:

cookiemonster5 · 04/12/2019 13:00

I was threatening by my neighbour in my old house. He would follow me and my kids around our garden too. After that day the house never felt like home. It was just somewhere to sleep. The police and council were useless. The police couldn't figure out that for the first time in around 20 years (10 in our case) there were complaints being made by a newcomer about all of us yet no one else had ever complained about us before and we certainly never complained about each other. They were out weekly. The neighbours didn't like that we weren't happy to be woken at 6am by diy and wouldn't allow them to do whatever they wanted whenever they wanted if it was illegal and affected our lives.

They moved just over a year after moving in once they had made enemies of every person on the street and even those in the street at the back.

We have moved too but were planning on it anyway.


cookiemonster5 · 04/12/2019 13:04

Sorry posted too soon.

My husband wasn't there when it happened so he didn't get how frightening it was for me. If we weren't already needing to move I don't think we would have as we both loved that house.

I would call your doctor personally. It's very scary having that happen in your home where you are meant to be safe. Also ask the police what measures can be put in place to ensure your safety.


Makinganewthinghappen · 04/12/2019 13:08

Thanks cookie . It is scary.
A delivery came to the door (not
Ours it was for next door and they were not I’ll).
I’m literally shaking now!

This is ridiculous. I would go out somewhere but tbh I don’t even feel in a fit state to do that now.

OP posts:

Makinganewthinghappen · 04/12/2019 13:09

Luckily we don’t really love our house - it’s been fine but it’s just a house we have no real attachment to it!

OP posts:

CheshireChat · 04/12/2019 13:18

Is your DH the cautious type?

Simply because I don't think I'd make an important decision right after a frightening even, I'd want to think it through.

It's horrible when you don't feel safe at home though and you have my full sympathy Flowers.


MissEliza · 04/12/2019 14:44

Are the police involved? If so victim support will be in touch shortly.
I totally understand how you feel. I had a major problem with a housemate at uni, which ended up with the police being called. The landlady arranged for me to sleep at another house she owned until I went home. I was lucky the tenants there agreed.


Makinganewthinghappen · 04/12/2019 14:49

Yes they are and all they have told us is to record what happens if they come back . That’s it.

OP posts:

Blobby10 · 04/12/2019 14:54

@Makinganewthinghappen don't underestimate the effect this will have on you. I was burgled in the night a few months ago - disturbed them trying to steal my car but they'd been in the house and had a good look round downstairs whilst I slept upstairs.. i happened to be on my own that night. Even now, when I've moved house, I get panic attacks thinking someone is breaking in or trying to steal the car. Even though, logically, I know there is nothing there I can't stop the pounding heart and cold sweats.

I don't blame you for wanting to move tbh - I wasn't threatened or anything but felt my privacy had been totally violated. I would have loved five minutes in a room with the bastards. The only thing which helped me feel 'better' at the time was increasing security ie new door locks, extra alarm coding so I could part set it, double checking doors and windows at night, moving bag and spare car keys upstairs.,


VincentVanGoughandhisear · 04/12/2019 15:01

Just move. Life is too short to be unhappy x


MissEliza · 04/12/2019 15:07

Op you poor thing. Make sure your doors are locked at all times, keep your phone beside and let neighbours know what's going on. If the person does come back, the police can serve a notice forbidding them to contact you.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Already signed up?