To question whether I want DM involved in DC's life?

[Dinosauraddict]

I am posting this on behalf of my DH (who wrote it) as he really wanted MN insight:

For many years (decades) my younger brother has very much been the favourite, to the extent that an outsider would reasonably think my mother only has one son. So naturally my mother and I grew apart, which I have mentally been ok with. My wife has always tried to foster a better relationship, but my mother (and brother) has only ever contacted either us when they want something.

The challenge I now have is that I am expecting my first child, so as expected my mother is now showing a renewed interest in me and my family (Since we announced the pregnancy). Last weekend, she (my mother) severely offended my wife and also said that I wasn’t included in her will, with everything going to my brother. Financially, this doesn’t bother me, it is just the principle of being excluded (once more).

My mother afterwards realised that she offended my wife and is very apologetic but I am left questioning do I want her/them involved in my child’s life? She hasn't realised how upset I was about the clear favouritism re the will.

I make a point of never saying anything negative about his mother ( or sister ) to the DC but she will think nothing of making vicious comments about me in front of them

See I never understand this. Why on earth would you cover for someone so nasty who is badmouthing you to your children? By covering for them you are enabling this behaviour. Wouldn't it be better to warn the children in age appropriate language that their grandparent is not a nice person?

Thank you everyone. DH has RTFT and has decided to go NC. Sad in many ways, but not surprising it has come to this considering her actions over the last decade. We appreciate your views.