To be annoyed by MIL comment about my parenting choices

[CherriesAndWine]

Technically not MIL, but fiance's mother sent quite a nasty message to DP about our choice not to baptise DS. I don't understand why she thinks she has a say in our parenting choices, I could count on one hand the amount of times she has seen DS in since he was born! (Nearly 8 months) She couldn't pick him out of a line up. She said if we don't want Jesus looking over DS then we don't want her. It's unbelievable that we are not baptising him but she's not surprised, we're better off taking him to Ibrox where the zombies are. As if I'm going to let a football team dictate my children's religion! She went on to say DP grandparents and great grandparents would be turning in their grave if they knew what we were doing. I have a DC from a previous relationship who isn't baptised and I want to keep them the same and have told MIL this. Plus the fact DP and I are not religious and would have no intention of raising DS as a practising catholic. I can't believe she has the cheek to criticise us when she makes absolutely no effort to see DS

Just out of curiosity, will you be happy if your children one day decide they do want to follow religion and become church members of any religion?

We baptised our two, and want to raise them in our religion as it's also connected to culture/tradition that is a part of our lives, but I was also equally upset when my MIL kept on banging that we need to marry as it's the 'right thing to do', despite neither of us feeling like we need to marry to be a happy family.

I would say, ignore MIL, but keep an open mind as your children one day may chose to follow a religion and it would be sad if you were equally stubborn about them being atheists as your MIL is now about your child's babptim.

I wouldn't take any notice. And for the record, I'd look at whether you would be better off being married - if you are going part-time, giving up pension rights etc, you are far better off being married.

Id not react. She wants u to have to defend your decision. She will be more annoyed if you dont bother

Yeh dont go pt!! Make sure yr bf shares childcare respinsibilities

YANBU, the default is not-baptised. Totally up to you if you choose to deviate from that and have your DC baptised.

Slightly off topic, but did a pp really say that they had a child out of wedlock, are still unmarried, yet baptised that DC??? Wow, that takes some front!

None of her damned business. Tell her to butt out. It can’t be any kind of surprise to her given your lack of religion.

Just out of curiosity, will you be happy if your children one day decide they do want to follow religion and become church members of any religion

What an irrelevant and strange question.

There's nothing in the post that suggests the op won't allow her DC to make their own decisions with regards to religion once able to.

She sounds nuts.

I'm English but live in Scotland with my Scottish DH. When I moved one of the things I couldnt (and still cant) get my head round was how religion is linking to football teams etc.

it would be sad if you were equally stubborn about them being atheists as your MIL is now about your child's babptim

The two are not logical equivalents. Atheism is the default, religion is a departure from that.

...and tbh, if my DCs turned out to believe in any form of supernatural entities, I'd seriously wonder where I had gone wrong with my parenting.

Tell her to sod off. If your child decides they want to be religious later on they can be baptised then. I personally think forcing it on a child is wrong. It's up to them to decide what religion to follow if any.

@MonaLisaDoesntSmile If DC want to follow religion when they are older that is completely up to them, but I don't see the point when they won't be raised as Catholics and they may chose another religion, or none when they're older. I'd rather just leave it to them to decide.

I'm not going to reply to her I'm just so angry she thinks can criticise me when her reasoning for it has more to do with football than the actual religion. Plus her efforts to even see DS have been miserably inadequate.

@Shinysun I think it is bonkers as well