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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask for kitten/cat advise ??

45 replies

DidYouSayTea · 03/12/2019 08:08

Not sure if this is the right section to ask really ! Also name change from a previous post , but I’m an active user ☺️

So DH and I work full time . He does Maternity Ward shifts ranging from 7.5hours to 10 hours . I work 9-4:30 Monday to Friday . We live on a busy (ish road), it does eventually lead onto the duel carriageway.
DH and I do want a dog but it wouldn’t be doable with our work life really , and it wouldn’t be fair . Plus we are TTC so not sure how it would work when we have a baby. Not fair on the dog .

DH has asked me to consider us getting a cat, so I’d like some advise or guidance from cat owners please .
Would it be a bad idea for us to get a cat if we live on a main road ?

TIA

OP posts:
Boots20 · 03/12/2019 14:29

I wouldnt get a pet while TTCing, not saying you would be this person but I know ALOT of people who have bought puppies/kittens then a few months after baby is born they need to rehome because 'they now have a baby and dont have time for kitten/pup. Again not saying you would do this but it just seems a common occurrence with people. Animals are hard work as are newborns, but both together are ALOT of hard work.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 03/12/2019 14:33

If you TTC then you may find a cat annoying with a baby. They can't be left alone in the same room in case off suffocation

This is such utter tripe...there is not one single recorded case of a cat suffocating a baby, I didn't realise people still believed crap like this.

I don't agree with indoor cats as by nature they are hunters and like to be out although to be fair one of mine would probably love being an indoor cat lol. But then, you could live on a smaller less busy road and your cat could still get run over so I would say as long as you know what to expect re owning a cat then go for it but a kitten and a baby at the same time would be quite a ballache.

thecatneuterer · 03/12/2019 14:37

@Drunksanta - did you have a door to the garden and young children?

cosima1 · 03/12/2019 14:38

OP, do you have a garden or yard at all? If so, you can have an wire called a “Freedom Fence” put around the boundary. The cat wears a collar when going out and receives a “static correction” if he/she goes within a certain distance from the wire (it can be set at different distances). There is a beep which warns them beforehand though. Sounds a bit mean, but it’s psychological more than anything as they just don’t go where the beep is - and anyway, it’s far better than being run over. It’s not very expensive to have this fitted. PM me and I can let you know the company who fitted one for one of our cats who is a Houdini and was getting onto the road,

If you have a quite simple garden layout eg with a fence around it, you can add rollers to the top of the fence to stop the cat going over (google cat fence rollers). There are other ways of cat-proofing fences too, such as a wire fence-topper that slopes into the garden,

Please don’t get a kitten or cat near a main road, it’s like playing Russian Roulette every time you let them out. It’s devastating when they get run over.

An older house cat could be an idea - maybe get two for company as you’re both out in the day? The only thing with this and any upcoming pregnancy / baby is that contact with cat poo in pregnancy I’d not ideal due to toxiplasmosis (not sure if that’s the spelling)! Obviously, you can take precautions here, but it’s just another “thing”. Then later, when your baby is mobile, they may see the litter tray as a sand pit!

mebeforeyou · 03/12/2019 14:40

We got our 3yo rescue cat from Battersea earlier this year and despite us living near a main road they were fine with this. They checked out our house location on Google too 🤷‍♀️

cosima1 · 03/12/2019 14:50

I suppose If Battersea ruled out houses near main roads they’d be ruling out most of London. But as someone who has had two gorgeous cats run over on a minor, residential road, it’s just not a risk I’d take again. Not when it’s possible to take precautions to keep them away from cars.

EagleVisionSquirrelWork · 03/12/2019 14:55

I lost a much loved cat on a main but not very busy road many years ago. It was just awful, devastating really, I still feel guilty about it and I swore I'd never risk it again, so once the last one died (of old age thankfully) we didn't get any more. One day, if I have a decent amount of land I'd love to keep cats again, but not in the meantime. The thing is, you can't know in advance with a young cat whether they'll be a hunter/gatherer/explorer type, or a hang around at home type. Even if you see kittens when they're still with their mother, it's very hard to predict temperament and habits, and if you end up with an explorer it's really cruel to keep them in. They don't get used to it, they just pine. So if you must have a cat I'd second the advice to look for an older indoor rescue cat, but if you're TTC, then actually I think I just wouldn't do it, because if the cat doesn't cope well with a newborn then you'll need to rehome it again, and that would be pretty shit for the cat. Tbh, it just doesn't sound like quite the right time atm.

Confusedbeetle · 03/12/2019 14:57

No just please dont do it

Icecreamsoda99 · 03/12/2019 15:06

You're not supposed to clean the litter box when pregnant in case of toxoplasmosis, but also cats need attention too, possibly not as needy as dogs but still may feel pushed aside with a new baby (my cat is very demanding of attention), also I know someone suggested rabbits but to give them a good life they are hard work and sensitive and need to be kept in pairs as they are very social, they also require more cleaning than cats!

Fluffycloudland77 · 03/12/2019 15:13

I think your out the house too long & too near a rd.

Parahebe · 03/12/2019 15:19

@mebeforeyou
Near a main road can be okay for a rescue centre (almost every home in London will be fairly near a main road) but the OP lives actually on a main road. I used to home cats for a rescue centre in London it was unlikely we'd accept a home on a main road except for an indoor cat.

How well it works to have an indoor cats or cats confined to a cat-proofed garden depends on the layout of your house/flat, whether you have an 'airlock' between the front door and outside (like a porch door), and how vigilant you - and your guests/children - are. It works for us, but we've lived in other houses where having an indoor cat would have been mission impossible.

Hobbesmanc · 03/12/2019 15:47

We have lost two adult cats on the road and we aren't even that close to where they were hit. Cats roam further than you imagine.

We got two kittens last Christmas and decided to minimize their time outside- they didn't go out at all till the summer and then only in the back garden when we were around- never at night. Now they are used to only going out for a short period of time and they come back when called. Although one of them is showing some signs of rebellion to be fair.

SisterSistine · 03/12/2019 15:56

"If you're desperate for a pet I'd go for a rabbit"

Please don't do this. For a start you can't have just one rabbit, they need to be in pairs. And they need much more space and stimulation than most people realise. They really shouldn't be seen as an easy pet.

DrunkSanta · 03/12/2019 16:13

@thecatneuterer yes my house had doors. Most do!

thecatneuterer · 03/12/2019 17:30

@DrunkSanta. Indeed they do. But not all back doors lead direct to a garden. For example some are through a conservatory thus providing a sort of 'air lock' making it easier to not let cats through. The most important part of my question though was did you have young children at the time? I'm pretty sure that young children running to and from a garden wouldn't always close the door properly behind them.

hoxtonbabe · 03/12/2019 18:00

If this question was put to me a year ago I would have said do it it’s easy.. but I’ve come to realise that my previous two cats that I had from kittens were simply my getting lucky.

From day one my first cat that I had for 12 years was super chilled, yes he liked to climb the curtains when he was about 4 months, yes he used to dart out the door and explore the communal hallway ( I live in a house conversion) and yes when he saw black rubbish sacks he would hiss and attack it at any opportunity BUT he really was a good chilled cat that was content being left to his own devices. He would sit on your bed and was just happy to be near you but never disturbed you.

My second cat died young as he had a heart defect, and he was opposite of my first, very shy, scared of his shadow, wouldn’t go near the door, hid if I had any visitors, but was a keen mouse catcher and would be most pleased when he caught one and even decided to take one he had caught into my sons bed Blush but overall he was happy to be left to his devices, he would curl up on you or your bed and happily snooze.

I currently have a ginger 8 month old that I have had since a little kitten.. he is like having a newborn! I have hardly had any sleep since getting him as he insists that I wake up at 4am and will creaky sad meaow at my door and gently but scratch at it until I wake up.. woe betide we go to bed then he will let you know he’s not happy about this and we must either let him in or come back out.

Now I hear you say “well just let him in with you” well we done that and that just made it worse as he would use our toes under the duvet as prey hunting practice, if not our toes then he would insist on just generally jumping on you so that is no longer an option.

We have got him an automatic laser chaser to tire him out, he has toys coming out his ears, he’s been neutered ( which appears to have made him more hyper?!?!) and whist some days are better than others in the 5 odd months I’ve had him for I have not had more than 5 hours uninterrupted sleep.. he is hard work.

He has now clocked on to the fact that the curtains have a good grip for climbing, now all my cats have done the curtains but usually when around 4-6 months and still quite small, but this one is a big sod ( not overweight but he’s just long and big as the vets thought he was an adult!) and will have my curtain pole down with his weight if he keeps this up.

To ask for kitten/cat advise ??
To ask for kitten/cat advise ??
Original poster
DidYouSayTea · 03/12/2019 18:20

Thanks everyone I think we will stick to being owners of our gorgeous bunny for now . It wouldn’t be fair to have a cat you’re right . @SisterSistine our rabbit has a whole garage as her run, and she’s very happy :)

OP posts:
SisterSistine · 03/12/2019 19:28

Does your bunny have a friend? I say get another bunny if not! More bunnies!

GaaaaarlicBread · 03/12/2019 20:15

@Sistersistine no she doesn’t but we looked into it and the vet said because she’s been alone and is happy, another rabbit would possibly cause issues ? X

GaaaaarlicBread · 03/12/2019 20:16

This years Christmas photo 😂😂

To ask for kitten/cat advise ??
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