AIBU To ask you what age is best to have a sibling for your first born/s?

[MamaDane]

3 months since we had our twin boys and already on the third day post birth I told my partner I wanted another one, in spite of a horrible pregnancy.

So we were thinking about having another one when the twins are about 3. What age do you think is best? Do you regret having another child so close to/far from the first/s?

I don’t think their is a right answer here. My brother and I are 3.5 years apart and he’s my best friend. My boyfriend is 22 years older than his little sister and they also have a great relationship. I’d say it’s more about how you raise them over when you raise them

Almost exactly 2 years between my 2 and their relationship is lovely. They're close enough in age that they're entertained by the same things, which makes my life easier. It was the smallest gap that we could afford. I timed it so we'd get some free nursery hours by the time I was returning to work after my second maternity leave.
There are advantages and disadvantages in any gap.

There’s no right or wrong, and most gaps come with their own plus/negatives.
Myself and my 3 older siblings are 2 years gap each, and overall I would say we had, and do have, a great relationship.
As a result I always aspired to, and imagined I’d have kids with roughly a 2 year gap.

I have a 12 year old, and a 9 month old. Not the gap I planned or intended but the one that happened, and DS1 is amazing with DS2 and loves him to pieces. Balancing the out needs can be a challenge at times, as they are so different, but we manage. That said, I’d/we’d like another, and I’d hope this time the gap is more like the 2 years I always envisaged, because I love the idea of them growing up together and always having each other.
DP however doesn’t see this in the same way as me as he has a 3 year gap between him and his sister and they didn’t get on well at all. Yet get on wonderfully now as adults.

So in answer, I would do what feels right to you, because whatever you do it’s never going to be perfect, it’ll just be what it is and you make the most of that.