To think this is enough to spend on friends and friends children at Christmas?

[boobooboggins]

Just finished my Xmas shopping for my friend and her two kids.
Age 7 and 3 months.
Is this enough ?
I think so but I just don't know as some people go crazy

Friend has got a dressing gown,a new purse,a 2020 and a joke present of a stress ball £60 total
Her little boy 7- a dressing gown,a board game and 2 books £25 total
Her other son 3 months -a musical rattle and a angel to watch over him (little something) about £22
Is this ok?

Too much unless it’s a close friend. Also you could have just gotten one nice big present if you were going to spend £60. Anyway, you’re a very generous person, I’m sure she’d appreciate it.

Personally I think that's a lot, even if you can afford it. I guess it's about managing each other's expectations and what is normal for your friendship. And if that's the norm then it's ok.
I tend to only buy a bottle of something and some chocolates for my friends at Christmas and leave presents for birthdays. But that's me!

I've got a good circle of friends, and none of us buy for each other or the children. There's enough "stuff" getting bought so, to us, it's unnecessary to add to that. I've no extended family either, so it's not like my DC's get masses of gifts, but I just want to keep "stuff" to a manageable amount.
I do buy a wee gift for friends' DC's on their birthdays, but that's because I usually see them around then - and it means that cost is spread across the year.

Enough? Enough for what? What happened to the value of spending time together?

I'd return all of it apart from the board game & the baby's rattle. Then just get a box of chocolates and job done, you've bought too much for your friend.

That sounds like far too much for a friend and her children. It's more than I would spend on some family members.

The 7 year old will probably get a dressing gown from his mum for his Christmas eve box. So you'll just be duplicating gifts which will either be regifted or sent to a charity shop. Return both dressing gowns, it's a waste of your money which is better saved for a tight January. Don't get yourself into debt buying for friends.

I really hope your not expecting anything close to that back from her

^^ This. It might feel like you've bought her nice generous gifts, but it could also be that you've made her feel guilty and feel obliged to return the favour, whether or not she can afford it.

Plus, does she need a new purse and dressing gown? Are the ones you've bought right for her? The purse especially is quite personal - size, number of card slots, do you usually carry change, so need a decent coin section?

I don't see the need for anything other than token presents between adults (flowers, bottle of wine, chocolates etc) - this then allows people to just buy their own stuff as and when they want/need them.

What, people buy presents for friends? Can barely manage to organise ourselves enough for DS.

And what do you mean “enough”? What friend is it? What relationship? Why measure in money?

Depends on the norm in the friendship. I only buy for one friend (trying to see if we can skip next year) and it's something token like I got her a self made reflector, chocolate and dish rag that came up to about £7. She got me something soft (won't open til christmas) and I'm assuming it something she knitted for me.

But I do find it a bit weird when adult friends buy each other so many presents. For me that would be over the top.

Is it a new friend? If not, don’t you just have a sort of unspoken agreement as to what sort of things you buy and how much you spend based on past years ? Surely this and what you can afford decides what you spend.

I don't buy for friends or their kids.

I wouldn't buy more than one present for a friend, (we do a friend's secret Santa so one gift per our group.)
Unless I was visiting them over Xmas I wouldn't buy friend's dc gifts.

More than enough. Don’t fret!

Yes it’s enough, one present should have been enough OP.

I’ve spent on average £20 on each of my 6 closest friends

Another vote for not enough. You need to be spending £100 on the friend and at least £50 each on each kid.

I buy for my one oldest friend and her partner who have no children. I've bought them a £25 Just Eat voucher and I'll get them a cake.

Like PP said - depends doesn't it on if you are a footballer's wife or not. How can we tell 🤷‍♀️ me and my friend tend to spend £10/15 so we know the sort of limit.

If it's a first time buying gifts type of affair it's a difficult one - she may not have bought you anything or just a token and is going to he embarrassed.

I think that's way too much, OP. I don't buy for friends or their dc and you've spent more on them than I do on my niece and nephew.

Are they similarly generous with you?

TulipsTwoLips Mon 02-Dec-19 16:30:39
No, you need to buy them more.

homeishere Thu 19-Dec-19 07:46:50
Another vote for not enough. You need to be spending £100 on the friend and at least £50 each on each kid.

I ssupect these posters are having a joke at your expense ad I'd safeky ignote teh advice.

Ignoring the money question, that depends and what you normal do but that is way to much “stuff”.

Friends children

• 7yo... 2 books = £10
• 2yo... Book + toy £10
• 2 to... Book + toy £10

Baby... Bookset £5 Dog... Dog mince pies £2

Friends... £0. We sometimes buy a novelty gift but not seen one this year for any of them. We bought beer or chocolates before they had kids and they were buying for ours.

My friend has 3 children, aged 6-12 years, I spend £25 each on presents for them. Only buy for the kids though.

Is the dressing gown something you know she wants/needs? I'd be surprised to get this from a friend.

You've spent more than I can on my family, but I'm on a budget.