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AIBU to wonder if we need so much Sherry?

19 replies

Flyingfish2019 · 02/12/2019 10:29

So dh bought ten bottles of Sherry at the beginning of November. On Black Friday he ordered another 20 bottles of Sherry. They can be stored (I am not sure for hw long, he says for years and years) but I still do hate the idea of having so much Sherry in the house... especially since... he is not an alcoholic but sometimes I am worried he drinks to much. We quarreled about it yesterday.
I think the price was good (I do not understand much about Sherry, but others have told me the price was okay) but I do not know why we need it and why we need so much of it. Is it me or is it him?

OP posts:
ssd · 02/12/2019 10:33


Flyingfish2019 · 02/12/2019 10:35

Who is weird? Me or him?

OP posts:
CheeryB · 02/12/2019 10:39

It depends how much entertaining you do, or how often you drink sherry, or if sherry is his usual drink of choice. It certainly sounds a lot to me, but I don't actually like it so it would. I know people who order cases of wine in multiples when they're a good price. Doesn't seem all that different to me. You'll have to watch and see how long they last.

OlaEliza · 02/12/2019 10:39

So you've got 30 bottles of sherry?

Wtf does he think you are going to do with them? Does he drink sherry?

Give ppl trifles for Christmas 😂

dementedpixie · 02/12/2019 10:40

Sherry is a weird choice. Does he drink sherry?

DressRehearsal11 · 02/12/2019 10:41

If you can afford it, and the sherry indeed will be drunk over a period of time, then it makes sense to buy in bulk if the price is very good. Worrying that you have too much alcohol in the house purely based on number of bottles is a little odd. Has he previously chanted his drinking behaviour because of having more alcohol in the house?

Whether he drinks too much depends on his much he actually is drinking and whether his drinking is more widely problematic. I’ve seen MNers declare that drinking more than two glasses of wine on an evening out means you have an alcohol problem, so without more information that part is hard to gauge.

Flyingfish2019 · 02/12/2019 10:43

Yes, he likes drinking Sherry. If he didn’t it would be really, really weird, wouldn’t it? I am just concerned because Sherry has mor alcohol than beer or non fortified wine and I am sometimes a bit worried that he drinks so much... and I fear that having so much Sherry in the House is not helpful.

OP posts:
AlwaysCheddar · 02/12/2019 10:45

Most sherry starts to lose flavour after a year.

OrangeZog · 02/12/2019 10:47

I am just concerned because Sherry has mor alcohol than beer or non fortified wine and I am sometimes a bit worried that he drinks so much

A glass of sherry tends to be much smaller than normal wines or beer.

I think the issue is you worry about how much he drinks rather than having sherry in the house. What about spirits? They can be much more potent, yet you don’t seem to have concerns regarding them.

dementedpixie · 02/12/2019 10:48

Maybe he doesn't drink spirits though. How much sherry is he drinking and how often?

fascinated · 02/12/2019 10:50

Does seem a lot. Ask him how long does he expect it to last?

Flyingfish2019 · 02/12/2019 10:52

@Orangezoy: He typically doesn’t like spirits very much. He just typically like wine or Sherry. He drinks every weekend or when he cannot sleep or when he feels unhappy for one reason or the other. Never drinks when he works but I am still a bit worried which I discussed with him before and I am not sure if he saw my point.

He doesn’t drink that much, maybe two bottles (between one and three bottles) of wine or one bottle of Sherry a week.

I am not sure if it is me or him. I cannot stand alcohol very much and maybe am to critical of him.

OP posts:
OrangeZog · 02/12/2019 11:03

He doesn’t drink that much, maybe two bottles (between one and three bottles) of wine or one bottle of Sherry a week.

That sounds a lot to me and the need to drink when unhappy or unable to sleep suggests the possibility of reliance which can turn into dependence. I can see why you are concerned. However, I am similar to you in that I don’t drink (or rather, I might have one drink a year) but I do know many others who drink more and it’s considered normal by their peers.

cccameron · 02/12/2019 11:07

I think drinking sherry around Christmas time should be the law and really really need to know what the deal was and whether its still available Smile

BarbaraofSeville · 02/12/2019 11:18

A bottle of sherry a week is not disasterously high if that's all he's drinking, given that the unit recommendations are arbitary and a bottle will contain about 15 units.

But if he's drinking more than a bottle a week or having other drinks as well, it's starting to look like a lot, especially if he sees his new stash as a green light to drink more because it was cheap.

tillytrotter1 · 02/12/2019 11:52

Beware, the pale sherries deteriorate quickly once open, one of the reasons they are available in half bottles.

DioneTheDiabolist · 02/12/2019 11:54

What kind of sherry?

LemonTT · 02/12/2019 12:03

I’m not a drinker but I don’t think his drinking is excessive. It’s not healthy but by UK standards not excessive.

Sherry is a strong and usually sweet drink. Very much an acquired taste. I am reminded of Fraser. Has he indicated that some of the Sherry will be offered as presents or anything?

Anyway, from what I recall the DH has ptsd and the OP has worried about him drinking with friends at the weekend. There could be issues of low level self medicating with a substance that isn’t great for mental health if he binges.

My response to this would be to encourage him to discuss his drinking with his care team. They are the experts and know his background. They are people that can help him. You are not going to get a qualified or even unified opinion on here.

Flyingfish2019 · 02/12/2019 14:56

@LemonTT I am not even sure if I am asking for advice or only for reassurance that everything is gonna be alright. Childish I know.

It seems that he is not really interested in his therapists opinion when it comes to relaxing. He tried meditation but it did not work for him. He tried giving up coffee and energy drinks but it did not work for him. Only thing that works for him is progressive muscle relaxing after Jacobson but he never does that during the day cause it makes him feel drowsy.

He is a smart capable adult and he assures me everything is okay and he knows what is best for him and that he needs it right now (in order to sleep, to relax and to feel happier) and that he is careful never to drink an unsafe amount and not to drink too much.

I think there is a bit the danger of me babying him and I want to make sure that I do not baby him more than a healthy man.

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