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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel like DH is really milking this cold?

16 replies

LisaSimpsonsbff · 01/12/2019 21:15

This has become a point of tension, as apparently I am horrible and unsympathetic. DH has had a cold for two sodding weeks. He has been going to bed at 8.30 nightly. He drags himself around miserably all day. He is also the world's most dramatic cougher and most ostentatious nose blower. It definitely isn't flu, just a cold - am I really being awful to feel like he's got to be dragging this out now? No one is really at death's door with a cold for two actual weeks, right?!

OP posts:

bigchris · 01/12/2019 21:17

If he's going to bed at 8.30 every night and sleeping til what time? I'd be concerned it hasn't gone by now

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 01/12/2019 21:18

Well it sounds like he is under the weather and that it's lingering longer than you are able to put up with.

Frankly I'd be more bothered as to what the medical reason is for it lingering this long.

At least he is going to bed early. Shows he is at least trying to rest

Celebelly · 01/12/2019 21:20

Is actually he going to sleep at 8.30 or is he going to bed and pissing about for two hours on his phone/watching TV?

Original poster

LisaSimpsonsbff · 01/12/2019 21:20

He's sleeping until 6.30 in the week, longer at the weekend. We normally trade off lie ins at the weekend, but I've got up with the toddler both days this weekend to let him rest and recover/to discourage further martyrish moaning from him.

He was making noises about going to the GP, which is what caused the argument as apparently I wasn't quick enough to agree that he's clearly terribly ill.

OP posts:

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 01/12/2019 21:21

There is some nasty colds about, I’ve just got over one lingering thing that was a month all in all every time I thought I’d got rid of it back it came, touch wood I seem to be free now!

FilledSoda · 01/12/2019 21:21

Two weeks is a long time to feel like that. I'd be fed up too.
Those cold & flu tablets can help , is he taking anything ?
He needs to rest as much as possible .
Why do you think he's faking it ?

Original poster

LisaSimpsonsbff · 01/12/2019 21:23

Just to clarify at this point in the thread - we are normally very 50/50 in the house (we both work full time and he does more childcare than me) so he's not a general piss taker/cocklodger, but he does, in my opinion, tend towards hypochondria. He would say that I'm lucky enough to rarely get ill and so unsympathetic when other people do (I know that's what he would say because he did say it earlier!)

OP posts:

Original poster

LisaSimpsonsbff · 01/12/2019 21:24

I don't think he's faking it, and I have no doubt that he's not feeling 100%, but I do think he's being a bit self-indulgent about it

OP posts:

Celebelly · 01/12/2019 21:24

I also think that some men have the 'luxury' of being ill as they aren't the default parent in the same way women often are. A lot of women, when they're ill, just have to get on with things because no one else will pick up their slack. My friend's DP is like that –when she's unwell, she still does everything she does usually because she has to, but when he's unwell he can't possibly lift a finger . He's a total hypochondriac too so it's never 'just a cold', it's always 'flu' or 'a virus' or something that involves a lot of hand-wringing and moping.

Willow4987 · 01/12/2019 21:27

There is a really nasty cold going around...I ended up at the GP as thought it might have turned into a chest infection and now 2 weeks down the line I’ve still got it and honestly feel like I’m dying most of the time (not helped that I can’t take anything for it due to being pregnant!)

Troels · 01/12/2019 21:34

OMG men and colds are awful, out comes the dressing gown of doom and they hack their way about the house. I provide regular cups of tea and ignore as much as possible. If I take notice it seems to feed the attention seeking.
If he wants to go and see the doctor I'd tell him to go make an appointment. At least then he might know for sure if it's a chest infection or a lingering cold.

Josephinebettany · 01/12/2019 21:35

YANBU. I know exactly what you mean OP

Scotinthenorth · 01/12/2019 21:38

If my DH was like this I’d be worried, not accusing him of overreacting. I’d be very pissed off if DH said I was milking it. Maybe he is actually very ill.

Redcherries · 01/12/2019 21:42

There’s a nasty one doing the rounds here. Everyone I know who has had it has been down several weeks with it and it’s been more miserable than the usual cold, harsher symptoms.

Bonkerz · 01/12/2019 21:46

I've had this cold for 2 weeks now. My sister for 4 weeks. She went docs last week to be told it's a virus.
My ears are blocked, my nose blocked. I cough and am sick, I feel dizzy but apparently it's just a virus. I'm knackered.
It doesn't help that I'm self employed so can't take time off to rest.

Frlrlrubert · 01/12/2019 22:19

I've been stuck in a cold cycle for LG I've weeks now, started with a sore throat, which came and went for a couple of weeks, then horrid cough, then gunky eyes, blocked ears and headache. Though I was getting better but been aching all last week and now I'm a snotty mess.

I've been soldiering in through the week but have had at least one dressing gown of doom day every weekend for a month! DH probably thinks I'm milking it massively.

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