Not to be in contact every day?

[FrivolousPancake]

When dating and not living together?

I seem to be alone in thinking it’s nice not to have to be in contact every day: texts throughout the day and calls in the evening?

I wouldn't want constant contact but I'd probably tell him which days/times and make it plain you need some time to yourself as well.

It’s difficult to navigate without seeming cruel or cold but it’s really beginning to bug me.

I’m not sure if this is a “me” thing that I should work on (but really I just love my own time and uninterrupted time with DD and ddog) without feeling obliged to text back or take calls.

If you're in a serious relationship, I'd wonder why you wouldn't just send a few texts per day. I am ridiculously independent but I do text my boyfriend every evening to see how his day went- because I care about him and I genuinely want to know.

I didn't have daily contact with DH when we weren't living together.

But everyone's norm will be different.
Some people talk for hours on the phone every night.
I'd never do that.

Oooo i fins this a toughie. Been in a relationship where we didn't live together and texted most days but quite frankly it was pointless because nothing newsworthy had happened in my day iyswim and so it was just pointless chatter and a waste of credit somehow (thy is was a few years ago!)

Sounds perfect to me. Makes me feel old too - last time I dated (over 20 years ago) we wrote letters!

Mobile phones are evil IMO in how they seem to have created this need for everyone to be in constant contact with everyone else.

When my dh and I were dating we'd see each other twice a week and speak on the phone twice a week, usually to arrange when we'd next meet but also to catch up. So we'd be in contact 4 times a week. Worked perfectly for us but others thought us mad and needed to be in touch with their other halves way more. We were happy like this until we moved in together after 4 years

Also I hate it when you meet a guy online and then you organise a date and seem to text constantly so by the time the first date arrives you dont really have much to talk about

I think it depends what stage of your relationship you're at. If you're serious and really into each other I don't see why you wouldn't want to be in contact.

Hmm I wouldn’t be happy as would seem like a casual thing only speaking a couple of times a week! But if it works for you then why not

I’m glad to see a variety of answers.

It would seem that it works for me but doesn’t work for him so I’m at a loss as to how to compromise because it would feel so forced if I go with his way and it’s not fair to expect him to accept my way.

There isn’t a right or wrong answer, it’s down to what you feel comfortable with.
I’d probably just explain it to him, and if you can really see a future then see if you can both come to a compromise?
When DH and I were first together we spoke every evening and sent a few chit chat texts in the day where possible, but then we met online as teenagers and so were used to it and always found something to talk about.
We managed to maintain that level of contact for 3 years before we even met!