Worrying about who my baby’s father is

[Mummytobe10101]

Hi all. I’ve just joined mumsnet. I really need to talk because I’m going absolutely crazy :( I’m pregnant with my first baby.
I slept with a man who I was dating in the middle of June. And started seeing my current boyfriend in July. I found out that I was pregnant at the end of September. I went to my scan on the 25th November and they told me I’m 12 weeks and 5 days pregnant (which makes little to no sense because this date would have been before my period in August). I have an irrational fear that the baby I’m carrying isn’t my boyfriend’s. it’s sending me insane. I’m so anxious and I keep crying about it even though I know it’s extremely extremely unlikely. I’m not sure whether I’m developing anxiety or I should get a non invasive dna test to put my mind at ease ??? Help. Thank you

If you haven't slept with anyone other than your current partner since you started seeing him, then he is the father of your baby. It sounds as though you could be suffering with some anxiety and you may benefit from speaking to your midwife or GP about it.

Are you worrying that the June boyfriend had super sperm that could hang around waiting for an egg?

The baby is your boyfriend's.

Why wouldn't that make sense? You would have actually conceived 10 and a half weeks ago, which goes in with after your August period. So you conceived in September.

If you had a normal period after you slept with the man then I don't see what you've got to worry about? Besides the dates match to your boyfriend too?

If they are saying you are 12 week 5 days then it means you conceived 10 weeks 5 days ago (+/- 3-5 days).

So on the 20th November you would of been 12 weeks pregnant - if you go on the calendar and count back from that then you 100% would of ovulated and conceived in September. There is absolutely no way it could of been the man you slept with in June unless you cheated on your boyfriend and slept with him in September (which I doubt you did)

Ok, deep breath. Do you know that pregnancy is usually counted from the first day of your last period? So if you are 12 weeks 5 days, that's roughly 10 weeks 5 days since you conceived (working on you ovulating at around day 14 of your cycle).
So, working backwards, 12 weeks 5 days = day 1 being roughly 28th August? So you would have conceived (depending on your cycle length etc) around 9-13th September. It's your new partners baby.
Congratulations!

Thank you so much everyone . I feel so stupid I literally can’t stop crying. My hormones are everywhere. Thanks for your responses . Also the dates make a lot more sense now, I didn’t know they calculated them like that. Thank you. I really think I’m having some kind of onset of anxiety - I need to speak to a doctor because I’ve panicking about irrational things every day since getting pregnant to the point where sometimes I can’t breathe. Thank you again

Oh bless you @OP. But yes, absolutely nothing to worry about. Congratulations!!

On all of my pregnancies I showed as being further along than I was. My first scan showed as being 16 weeks when I was only 11. My OH face was priceless. Stop worrying.

Thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

The previous "occasion" was 23 weeks ago, so please stop worrying.

Your dates are very similar to mine (albeit several years ago). I am certain I conceived around the beginning of September, DS was born end of May.

I’m not sure whether I’m developing anxiety...

I have a friend with OCD who gets irrational thoughts like this. I am absolutely not suggesting that you have OCD, but just that it might be something to keep an eye on. She gets intrusive thoughts, and then becomes convinced that she has done the things she is worried about - a common one is cheating on her boyfriend, which she has never, and would never do, but once the idea gets into her head, she starts thinking that she has done it. Yours could just be a random, irrational thought (which we all get sometimes!), but pregnancy hormones can affect people in different ways.

Hormones do make you very emotional especially at the start. I sobbed when my husband forgot the gravy from the Chinese! I hope your mind is more at ease now

I remember worrying that a ONS from 4 months previously could possibly be the father of ds1. I knew, logically, it wasn't possible but i still had a weird fear of it.

So sorry to hear that you got pregnant at the beginning of a new relationship.

@Barchester haha no I’m happy I’m pregnant, I thought I couldn’t even have kids so it’s truly a blessing.
Thank you so much everyone you’ve really really helped ease my mind :):) I’ll re read all of this if I stress out again. Thanks so much for calming my irrational worries !

@Areyoufree thanks for sharing that with me! I really do believe I might be developing anxiety during my pregnancy which is a bit scary. I’m going to speak to my doctor and midwife about how I’ve been feeling to make sure it doesn’t get out of control. Thanks again x

Get a prenatal dna test done. They take a blood sample from you and isolate the baby's dna from it, same as with the NIPT blood test.

Andy i thought they would have to do an amnio to do a prenatal dna test? I've always wondered how they do it.