Christmas tree shopping

[Jamielyn]

Hi,

I'm don't know if I'm being too sensitive about this because I'm very hormonal at the moment, but here it goes.

It's mine and my DP first Christmas in our bought home & because our flat was too small for a Christmas tree, this will be our first tree we've ever bought, so as you can imagine it would be a quite nice event for us. I've been really clear that I just want us to go together!

However, his mum has organised just them two to go and get the tree today and I've only found out this morning!!! They organised it on Friday night whilst I was out with friends.

I've decided to go because it's our first Christmas with a tree, but AIBU to be abit annoyed by this???

Yes, far too sensitive. Let them buy it, you decorate it

YABU OP but saying it in a kindly manner

Maybe, in light of your being hormonal (a pregnancy?) they thought it would be helpful to you .
Decorate it and Merry Christmas .

Did you mean you decided to go?
As long as you’re there I don’t think it’s a issue, but if him and his mum continue making decisions for the both of you that would get annoying !

I don't think you are being unreasonable, why is his mother getting involved in buying your tree, does she live with you? It smacks me as a bit odd and interfering!

Seems a bit odd to me, does your MIL usually interfere like this? Think this would annoy me too!

Omg I would have said my piece! Tree selection is a big thing in our family!!

I would talk to him and explain that you are the one he needs to be making those sorts of plans with in the future, because you are the household unit, not his mother. This time, all of you go and enjoy it, but in future, you don't want to be excluded and he needs to get into the habit of putting you first. You don't have to make a huge deal of it, just explain how it looked from your point of view.

It's a tree, just a tree. I couldn't get upset over that.

I want to choose my tree, MIL has awful taste and would go for something cheap and horrible so I understand.

YANBU this would annoy me too. What was his response when you asked why he'd arranged to go with his Mum?

It's not just a tree. It's their first Xmas tree in their first home. It could be the first tree they (should be) choosing together. If op is Pg it's their last tree as a couple. The MIL should not be sticking her oar in here, this would seriously piss me off too, and I'm not even sure if I'm going to bother with a tree this year.

I'd be annoyed by this too. Why on earth does your MiL need to be involved in choosing your Christmas tree? Could she maybe be planning on treating you and paying for it? It wouldn't explain why she appears to have excluded you from the plans though
Hope you still managed to have a nice experience and enjoy decorating your new home.

Going for the tree is THE most important family tradition in our house. I have such happy memories doing this with my late parents so it is one of the few ways I can still keep them with me.

DH would love an artificial but knows how important to me this is so puts up with me every year traipsing round, to the point of having him twizzling it round in front of the car head lights as it has gone dark by the time I have still not chosen!

I am also exceptionally fussy as it has to be completely in proportion.

If he ever got a tree without me I would LTB and he knows it! :)

Oh dear, looks like DP needs to be getting the hierarchy of the women of his life in order.

It's not the end of the world but I'd say this needs nipping in the bud. Coming from someone who's MIL upstaged me at my own wedding in an off white dress that cost double mine! hahaha!