To ask you what things you only know about through being on here

[nonevernotever]

Mine include

The wonder that is snag tights
That sainsbury make the best leggings
That people eat some very strange mixtures
The really apt names for hitherto nameless concepts like Spoonyfucker and cocklodger

That Zoflora is the most disgusting smell imaginable. Artificial, cheap and something that reminds me of nursing homes.

That you need to use soap instead of shower gel. And use natural deodorant. These have seriously changed my life.

And that Charlotte Tilbury make up is seriously seriously shit. Think Rimmel quality in high end packaging. I swear she uses bots on here to post and rave about her crap. I spent £150 on a kit that even my young adult DDs wouldn't touch.

And that some women enjoy being a doormat/martyr..... and seem desperate to hold onto men that no other fucker in their right mind would touch with a bargepole

What is a Spoonyfucker and do I want one? I know what a cocklodger is - and I certainly dont want one of those!

The toilet brush!

I shower 3 times a day.

I change my bedding/towels every day.

I never answer the door unless someone is expected.

Once we are a little family we don’t want to see anyone at Christmas.

That washing can get darked on and penis beakers.

24hourshomeedderandcarer: '^that people put bloody D(darling)in front of describing people

really gets on my last nerve

people dont talk like that in real life why on here^'

I don't get why this comes up so much, it's not just a MN thing, many other forums use exactly the same shorthand.

Oh and grey rock!
I’ve used grey rock on the nasty school mums!

That spiders drag their penises over my wet washing at night.

That baby led weaning is totally doable and you don't have to do purees. (radical thinking circa 2008)
That other people agree that men don't become women by putting on a dress.

If I have an argument with my partner I should LTB 🤷

Christmas Eve hampers.

I also don't think I've ever heard the ghastly phrases "making memories" or "forever home" in real life either, thank God.

That there are people who don't answer their door or phone unless "pre-arranged".

How one pre-arranges these things if people don't answer their door or their phone is beyond me......

I have learned that half of MNers have a lovely Chester Draws in the homes.

And the other half find that fact highly amusing.

That many people 'offer' foods to their little darlings instead of going 'kids, tea's ready' and fully expecting them to just get on with eating it.

What is this about bleaching door frames??

What gaslighting and emotional abuse is. Wish I’d come across Mumsnet when I was in the middle of that relationship ...

That decluttering successfully saves you a ton of time during your daily tidying up jobs.

How much time some people have on their hands.

A post containing the words pubic hair & shaving will generate a 40 page thread.

That you ALWAYS must bring your washing in before it gets dark

@Thethiniceofanewday that’s a very good one and I too wish I’d found mumsnet sooner for that.

What a decidual cast is.
Strangely fascinating thread a few weeks ago.

@Rainatnight - I came on to say exactly the same about baby vests! What a revelation when I discovered you could roll them down!

MN is where I first heard the phrase, "darked on"

How irritatingly twee and girlish large groups of women can be when they stumble across a 'hilarious' new phrase ie ODFOD, darked on, etc

@MarianaMoatedGrange - a spoonyfucker is one of those irritating people (usually DH) who come into the kitchen while you're cooking and start interfering with things, stirring stuff, getting in the way and making comments.

That some people prefer being with a total fuckwit rather than be single.