No matter how intensive the sessions, 4 months and the 1 year since you engaged in them is a drop in the ocean compared to the 20 years you've been struggling to overcome your fears and stave off depression, OP.
There is no quick fix but sheer bloody minded persistence will pay off if you're prepared to stick with challenging negative thoughts whenever they arise.. Perhaps you could set aside a specific time each day when you can simply 'be' for 10-15 minutes and observe your thoughts, Let them pass through your mind without attempting to challenge them, detain them, or running any internal commentary as to how you should be feeling or how you should interpret them.
If you are able to do this, it may demonstrate that you are not your thoughts and, in turn, this may enable you to see that you don't have to allow negative thinking to be in control as you have the option to let those thoughts go and fill any gaps in their wake with positive thoughts.
It occurs to me that you may benefit from EMDR which is available on the NHS and your GP may facilitate a referral: www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/
Alternatively, it may be time to reassess your fear of the possible side-effects of anti depressant drugs as a short course of, say, 9 months duration coupled with using CBT techniques may enable you to make more progress than you are currently achieving. This may help you decide which medication would be of most benefit to you: www.iwanttochangemylife.org/medications/antidepressants.htm
Did you try tapping (above)? There is no limit to the amount of times you can use the technique in any one day - or any one hour for that matter. If you didn't experience any improvement in your mood, have another go and keep going until you can feel a perceptible shift or lift of the dark mood that currently surrounds you.
I wish you well and hope that, whatever means you choose, you will bring about positive changes to your outlook in the near future..