To give a gift to younger sibling only

[funnelfanjo]

I give a cash gift to my godchild and their sibling every birthday and Christmas, and had it in mind to do it until they are eighteen.

The eldest child is now eighteen and I’m suddenly stuck on how to communicate kindly and gracefully why one will get a gift and the other won’t.

They are sensible young people, and I’m sure they’ll understand, but there is still part of me that thinks it’s unfair to give one a present and not the other.

Have any of you had to deal with this situation, and if so what’s the best way of going about it?

But surely you are still the God parent...?
I could understand decreasing amounts if needed, but to just stop? That gives a strong impression that it was your " duty" and now you get to stop.

Maybe a token gift like some chocolates which only cost a few pounds and explain that now she's 18 she will just get a small present.

I have a friend and our DCs are close. We have always bought for each other’s DCs but stopped at 21. We just explained to the older 2 when they were 18 that we would be stopping at 21 because they had several years worth of presents before the younger 2 were born.

As 21 year olds, as I would hope with an 18 year old, they didn’t bat an eyelid and said they were grateful for what they’ve had over the years.

Is the older DC generally a nice kid? If so I’m sure it won’t be an issue.

I think you should do one more, larger than usual, 'signing off' gift with an explanation, so everyone is clear.
Ideally you'd have done it for the 18th, but now is better than never.

I make the last cash gift a bigger one -because it’s a big birthday-and just send cards from then on.

Tricky if you’ve been buying both. Maybe do this year and say now that you are cutting back next year.

We only did the actual god child and not siblings as they have their own god parents that gift to to them.

I did do a special gift for the eldest’s eighteenth this year, and they are both very nice kids - I’m sure they will both understand. I should have broached the subject well before now though, annoyed with myself.

I would just buy a small token present. Tbh I loved presents from my godmother as it was always something thoughtful and lovely. Like a favourite book or miniature jewellery box.