AIBU My mother in law is an amazing 96 - still lives alone at home and needs a great deal of support. My husband and I along with one carer take care of all her needs, which are a great many, including total incontinence. We don't mind. But his older brother and two daughters live in New Zealand. When they come over to visit over two or three years they come as visiting royalty and do absolutely nothing at all to help us. We don't get a holiday together because we can go away at the same time for more than one or two. We are there at least two days a week and sometimes more. We often have to run errands for her on top of that. I also do or organise people to do her gardening where my back is going from arthritis. We are not young either so perhaps this is in the wrong place. we also have two adult children who need a lot more support due to a learning difficulty and mental health issues. The both live away but e need to support them to do so. This year the brother and eldest granddaughter came over and did nothing yet again. AIBU to be absolutely furious about it and the fact that no one will talk about it or deal with it because the family brush everything under carpets and all pretend all is fine. My husband says he loves me so much because I am not like that but I have to be with this family. It kills me but I respect his need to keep family peace. His brother wont talk to him anyway except when he is in UK and when MIL dies that will be the end of it completely- no contact any more. Should I just get on with it, let it go and know that I wont have to deal with him once MIL passes - she has the heart of 30 YR OLD but the rest of her body pretty aged now and no memory to speak of either