Backstory so not to drip feed - BIL has decided to pretty much cut contact with all of his family after falling out with MIL last year, after she pulled him up on not being there enough for his 2 eldest DC (he has 4 in total 2 with ex and 2 with current wife) both financially and emotionally. Over the years, time between visits with his 2 eldest DC kept getting longer and longer. I believe SIL is responsible for this but BIL should grow a pair over it. DH is not bothered by the NC as he thinks his brother is a selfish prick who has accepted so much financial help from MIL and then treated her shockingly when he needed her no longer for money, blaming her for all if his problems. His 2 DC with ex he has only seen once in the last year, 8 months ago! The DC have now decided they no longer want to see him at all as he keeps letting them down and cancelling arrangements. Being 16 and 12, I guess they're old enough to decide that for themselves.
Despite this falling out, we still sent their 2 youngest birthday cards with money and text them on their birthdays. We never got a thank you or confirmation that the card/money had been received. They sent ours cards and money too but didn't text them, we messaged to say thank you. Recently it was his DC3 birthday so sent the card with money as normal, text to check the card had arrived safely, wish happy birthday and check for Christmas ideas. They have not replied and DH is really pissed off and said if they want to be like that, we're not going to bother sending anything anymore but as we still see the 2 eldest children now and again, we would still buy for them. This makes me feel awful as I don't like treating siblings differently and it's not the children's fault that we aren't talking. Would it BU to just get for 2 of them? I say yes but DH says no, as the 2 youngest don't really know who we are anyway as we rarely saw them before the falling out. Would be interesting to get others opinions on this as I'm really torn on what to do. For the record DH has no interest in sorting things with his brother
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AIBU?
Would this BU?
20 replies
Hangingwithmygnomies · 29/11/2019 22:31
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