Aibu to ask if crying at work has ruined my career?

[Hotmess100]

So, a bit of background - myself (name changed because potentially outing!) and work colleagues (10 in total, 2 men 8 women), in a meeting led by outsider trainer. Trainer, to be fair, is not really well informed, is opinionated and a bit prejudiced in certain ways that get my back up a bit (as well as others) during the day. We all get pretty fed up at different points in the day and then after a group exercise that I felt we were set up to fail in and that we were unjustly crisitcised for I just became really frustrated and angry. Fine. Bit instead of just behaving like a grown up and stating my case like some kind of badass barrister I disappear into the toilets at coffee break all red in the face just muttering ‘I’m just really angry now,’ and go back later having had a sniffle and feeling about 5. To be fair I did put my point across briefly but as I felt I was about to start blubbing like a 5 year old again at any moment I did it really briefly and with a lot of blinking. Feeling like I don’t know how others would manage this situation (any tips for not tearing up in the first place?!) and also any perspective here? Feeling embarrassed in front of co-workers when I’m supposed to be a professional - any ways to give my career some cpr?!

I agree with @spacepyramid - it really depends on your workplace

I'm a nurse and at the minute it's really tough, so there have been a few more tears that normal. Even in the higher up bands. It wouldn't be judged in my area of work and you would get both practical support if have a heavy bay and emotional support. I guess it depends on the culture of where you work but I don't think it is going to ruin your career! Maybe if you made a habit of it, it would be looked at unfavourably.

I too have cried at work, in a tough, very male dominated environment and whilst it was embarrassing, it certainly didn't hinder my career prospects.

I have also comforted many female colleagues in the ladies where they have gone for a weep - in fact I did so just last week, and I think no less of them at all. In fact it's usually me ushering them off the trading floor into the loos when I detect its coming.

I have cried at work and I believe it beats giving way to rage.

I've angry-cried a couple of times and it's had no impact on my career. But yes, as a PP says, if you have a training evaluation form then there's your opportunity to give constructive feedback. If there is no form, email the provider or your manager with a couple of paragraphs pointing out where the training could be improved.

I've cried in work but usually in private, or in conversation with manager who's lovely.

I've got very low self esteem following childhood abuse and work have been fantastic. I've always hidden my emotions away - never allowing myself to cry and physically holding myself back, and when the strong emotions became too much, turning to dieting and drugs and alcohol to cope.

My manager in my new role, 6 months ago, picked up on it and gradually over time we worked together and I became to open up more and look at myself, and my self confidence has improved massively. It's not perfect still, and I do still really struggle to open up or ask for help. I do cry in situations where others don't - for example when my performance is being criticised etc, and it's more to do with me than them. I want to be perfect and think if I fall short they won't like me, and that takes a lot of effort to overcome. So I do become emotional now and then, particularly because some feedback eg putting self down subtly I. Front of service users, is linked to my past and it brings those things up. Management understand and are brilliant

I think it helps that they can see I'm really trying to address things and improve

I have cried in work before. I find when I am close to crying it really helps to drink some very very cold water and take some deep breaths. It numbs that feeling you get in your throat that makes your voice wobbly. Don't worry about it. Better to be a human with feelings than an emotionless robot!

Oh god I've cried so many times at work! Normally out of anger and frustration! I've cried in front of male and female colleagues and people above me. It has never done my career any harm. Especially because afterwards my professional front goes straight back on. It's ok to cry.

My male boss left an intense meeting the other week on the verge of tears and fairly sure he cried before coming back in
Most of my colleagues have cried at some point during stressful meetings
Other than showing empathy no one cares and I wouldn't give it another thought

Thanks so much everyone who responded - really reassuring - and good tips too! X

I have had the same happen during training, except I did not get to the break. I just ran to the loos in tears and a couple of colleagues followed me. Trainer was just joking about his weekend and going to a funeral. He was Irish and was making loads of jokes about visiting the deceased and viewing dead bodies. I had just returned to work after DH died and the last time I saw a dead body it was his and I had our 8 year old with me.
The irony is that the trainers had been flown at great expense to train us in 'restorative relationships". I had been working in a position that requires building relationships whilst having to challenge families for about 25 years. As had most of the other child protection professionals, teachers and family support workers in that room. Obviously being mindful of emotional triggers and just knowing your audience is quite basic.

I’m a police officer and as you can imagine work with a load of blokes. I’m starting the peri/ menopause and it’s like having continual PMT - just awful. I’ve probably cried 3 or 4 times in the last 12 months. The worse occasion was after receiving a phone call when I’d finished for the day from my supervisor ( who was also my friend) to tell me that I had omitted to do something and he was no copping a load of shit for me from someone important. I was so utterly gutted because of all the people in the world his good opinion of me mattered the most. I hardly got any sleep that night and spent anxious hours the next day trying to correct my error - I cried a lot. In the end a female supervisor had to give me a pep talk and say “ you made a mistake, no one died”. There were a lot of guys giving me a wide berth that day I can tell you. Sometimes life is a bit like that. I think if it’s an occasional thing people forget about it... it’s just if you cry all the time over every small thing people start to get a bit 🙄 about it.