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AIBU?

To get my lodger...

12 replies

Dollygirl2008 · 29/11/2019 07:48

Something on her door to indicate whether she's in or out or sleeping g etc? She's a lovely girl - a masters student. The only reason is because sometimes I don't want to wake her if I come home during the day and she's napping (she sometimes studies through the night), or, like this morning is mild and I probably wouldn't bother with heating if I knew she wasnt there. We don't see each other that much as she's studying hard at the uni and is only Monday or Friday only

What do you think? I don't want to seem controlling or weird - I'm honestly just thinking of her

OP posts:
DeathStare · 29/11/2019 07:53

Explain that to her and ask her how she'd feel. Some people would be comfortable with it, others wouldn't. There's no way of knowing which one of those she is unless you ask her.

Stuffofawesome · 29/11/2019 07:53

Could she leave her keys somewhere visible when she is in ?

Brimful · 29/11/2019 08:03

If I rented a room and the homeowner asked me to do that, I would find it a bit weird. Confused

You're coming from a good place but it seems a bit...off, somehow.

thetoddleratemyhomework · 29/11/2019 08:08

Instead of making it an obligation on her, why not say that, if she wants quiet in the night etc, she could put a sign on her door?!

As for heating, you could just show her how to turn it back on again if she is bothered?

lastqueenofscotland · 29/11/2019 08:09

I think that’s really weird... sorry

DisplayPurposesOnly · 29/11/2019 08:21

You're over-thinking this.

If it's night assume she's sleeping. If it's day, assume she's out.

Ragwort · 29/11/2019 08:27

I think a better way of phrasing it would be to let her know what hours you put the heating on (is it in a timer?) but show her how to adjust it if she needs it?

welshladywhois40 · 29/11/2019 08:37

When I flat shared we used to leave our doors ajar if we weren't in our bedrooms so that we would all know who was in or out.

Ajar being a few inches so it's not an invasion or privacy but we all liked to know who was in or out. If the door was closed I was consider it as a do not disturb time for her

Winterdaysarehere · 29/11/2019 08:41

When adult ds lived at home he left his shoes outside his door when he came back so I knew he had got home safely!
Could she leave slippers if she is in?

PlushPlush · 29/11/2019 08:43

Just ask her if you ever wake her up (perhaps she wears earplugs and/or is a heavy sleeper) and if she says yes then you can suggest your system. I bet she's fine though.

& as PPs have said, just show her how to adjust the heating herself.

Dollygirl2008 · 29/11/2019 16:25

Thanks all - yes she knows how to do the heating etc so if gets chilly she can pop it in

Interesting - some people think it's weird; others not so it's just as well I asked for advice!! I think I'll have a chat with her as suggested and then take it from there!

OP posts:
gingergiraffe · 29/11/2019 16:50

I think your suggestion is just you being thoughtful. However, if she is studying in her room why heat the whole house? How about buying a simple convector heater that she can pop on if cold? I have a couple I leave in the bedroom if someone is staying just in case. My husband hates being too hot! One bedroom often seems cooler than the rest and dil does feel the cold.

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