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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel positive and excited about IVF?

28 replies

TigerJoy · 28/11/2019 21:27

I have been recommended to go for IVF.

We've had a difficult 12 months trying without success and the clarity is so exhilarating I can't help but feel relieved.

My DH is more cautious about side effects etc but I just feel deep in my bones this is the right thing. I'm normally massively indecisive so this is really unusual for me.

Am I bonkers?

OP posts:
ParkheadParadise · 28/11/2019 21:29

You sound positive, Good luckFlowers

bob1985 · 28/11/2019 21:31

Hi @TigerJoy , I'm sorry to hear you have had issues.

I felt oddly the same when we started ivf. A positive attitude definitely helps. However, I would say to make sure you prepare yourself and each other for what might be a bumpy road.

Good luck 😊

MaButterface · 28/11/2019 21:36

I was like you but 4 rounds down now and still no baby. You do need positivity but also be realistic. It is a very painful waiting game.

ferntwist · 28/11/2019 21:39

Go for it OP. You hear lots of scare stories but my experience was easy and straightforward. No side effects from the medication other than a very full feeling on the last day before egg collection and a sore ovary afterwards.
Good luck!

BeamerTown · 28/11/2019 21:44

I think - having been through it - that it’s definitely reasonable to be excited about the clarity that having a plan can bring, and excited to be kicking off that plan. It’s when you start getting excited about a positive outcome too early that can lead to a lot of pain.

ginyogarepeat · 28/11/2019 21:51

I felt like this too after 4 years of trying and various investigations. Whilst the process certainly isn't easy by any stretch, I didn't struggle with it too much and felt much better at finally taking action. It felt like progress. Luckily it worked for me (though subsequent attempts haven't Sad) so fingers crossed it does for you too x

Missmonkeypenny · 28/11/2019 21:54

Good for you, OP.

I also felt really positive when we got the ball rolling with IVF - I felt as though for the first time in 2.5 years, I was actually doing something to get closer to having that baby.

It worked first time for us and we’re now 4 short weeks away from meeting our little boy!

Missmonkeypenny · 28/11/2019 21:56

Ps I don’t think you’re bonkers. Like fern, I found the whole process fairly alright and straightforward - a bit sore post egg collection as I produced a lot (26 mature usable eggs) but otherwise unharmed Smile

I think sometimes the reason you need IVF can have an effect on how you find it.

Original poster
TigerJoy · 28/11/2019 22:49

Oh yay! Thank for the positive stories

I have heard so much about stress and ivf...i know it's hard but I'm not sure how much harder it can be...i guess I'll find out ..

I'm old, past 40 so the dr basically said "now or never"

She also said at my age don't bother with more than 2 rounds. So it all feels manageable, financially and impact wise.

So it it is total hell it is not forever...

Thanks again for respondong xxx

OP posts:
LHReturns · 28/11/2019 22:53

OP is age your only limiting factor, or is there anything else? Partner’s sperm top notch? If you know your eggs are still plentiful, and you are ovulating, and your uterus seems ‘welcoming’ then you should feel very positive! It is exciting’! I’m just interested in the reason given for being referred for IVF beyond age.

When can you start?

Original poster
TigerJoy · 28/11/2019 22:59

Just my age..everything else looks good...

OP posts:
caravanette · 28/11/2019 23:05

Hope you get the best possible outcome from it xxx

Sparklesocks · 28/11/2019 23:20

Rooting for you, OP Flowers

KC225 · 29/11/2019 04:36

Good luck OP. My IVF worked first time and my twins are 12. Fingers crossed for you.

DameSylvieKrin · 29/11/2019 04:45

We had four cycles and now have two children. Even with a lot of setbacks along the way it feels good to be doing something and moving forward, so I don’t think you’re weird to feel positive.
However, the time it worked I was completely hopeless. So don’t think you have to be in a positive mood for it to work.

OffTheShelfElf · 29/11/2019 07:22

You're not bonkers at all. Personally I found IVF much easier than taking Clomid. And the results of that IVF are now running around downstairs, being their usual crazy selves.

GOOD LUCK!

Treaclepie19 · 29/11/2019 07:36

Hi 😁 (remember you from the conception board) I'm so glad to hear you're on the pathway to IVF and will keep everything crossed ❤

ferntwist · 29/11/2019 17:05

Keep us updated OP!

WonderWebbs · 29/11/2019 18:41

@TigerJoy I just wanted to say good luck and I think a positive but realistic attitude is perfect as you start on your IVF journey. After 4 rounds of IVF I have a teenager now and I have loved every stage of childhood, even this stage! Sadly we were only successful once but after a period of time I focused on what I have and not what I can't have. Twins would have been perfect though.

Bluewavescrashing · 29/11/2019 18:43

Good luck!

Original poster
TigerJoy · 29/11/2019 19:01

Thanks everyone! Hello @treaclepie!

Chances are not brilliant but I just feel like everything will work put for the best. Even if it doesn't work out I'd like to think we gave it our best shot

Any tips on what I can do to maximise best chances the old fashioned way all gratefully recieved as we wait for the next steps...

OP posts:
Floopyandtired · 29/11/2019 19:10

If I can offer any advice it’s have counselling during the process of going through IVF. It’s a rollercoaster of one headfuck after the other. Wishing you all the luck x

Ilikesweetpeas · 29/11/2019 19:10

Positive is a good way to approach it, I felt like there were so many people all helping me to get pregnant! It will be stressful, no doubt about that but a good attitude helps. Good luck

Fcukthisshit · 29/11/2019 19:12

Good luck op! Fingers crossed for you xx

Snowpaw · 29/11/2019 19:14

Success story over here - worked first round (although froze all embryos for a bit as hyper stimulated) but the first one they put back in took and I have 7 left for the future.

I was kind of the opposite to you though, I went in with very low expectations, expecting the worst, so that if it did go right it’d be a bonus. However, I’ve always been a bit of a negative person in some ways so probably not the best advice to give someone else!!

I did feel relieved though as finally, after all the tests and appts and investigations we were at a new chapter, taking steps to make hopefully something happen. The clinic I went to was great and the doctors and nurses were wonderful people who treated us very well.

She’s 1 year old now, snoozing in bed. I am forever indebted to the wonderful staff who helped us achieve a pregnancy.

Best of luck to you and prepare yourself for the challenge. It’s emotionally, mentally and physically testing but maintain that sense of optimism, lean on all the support you can get and be kind to yourself. Trust that the doctors will do their very best to help you. And if it doesn’t go as planned first time, there’s different things they can try.