My husbands siblings and mother have a fractious relationship to say the least. They hardly talk but the mother and sister constantly talk about how close they are.
My husband and his brother have been receiving messages from their mother about their ‘controlling and manipulating’ partners for years. She’s so sweet to your face but really horrible behind your back - until recently. She shouted at my husband at our wedding last year for him not spending enough time with her that day. Then when he tried to bring it up she steers the argument into another direction and all of a sudden is shouting at me about my family and something she wasn’t happy about from years ago. It’s impossible to improve a relationship when you’re unsure how it’s fallen apart so drastically. She even send my husband an email 5 days after I’d given birth about how I gaslight him. Previous messages are about my weight gain, how I don’t like her, how I put my own family before him.
She refused to meet our daughter when we asked her to come alone as it was a difficult birth and instead brought her own daughter and 2 year old grandson two days later. She said she’s too old to travel alone but has just returned from a trip to Spain by herself and comes up to the city to see exhibitions.
My husband knows it’s all awful and has only tried to see her once since. He ended up leaving after 10 minutes as she said something about me not coming.
Basically he doesn’t want to cut her out completely but I don’t want to visit her with our daughter. It’s better if she’s in public as she doesn’t try to shout. I’m not sure what to do about Christmas as he’s very low about the possibility of not seeing them.
I’ve just been going over and over it in my head as there’s no way to talk to them and move past it!