Found viagra in stbxh wash bag

[juststumped]

Not so much am aibu but WTAF!
Stbxh announced his departure at the end of the summer . Fell out of love with me because I was so awful to him in that I bagged him and he had enough.
Big back story but I've accepted it's over and am moving on. We will only move apart due to practical reasons at the weekend . We have children who are devastated.
I found out that he has a new girlfriend . He admitted it and said it's going on since we broke up... just afterwards 🙄
Tonight I needed to find a nail scissors for my child and when I looked in his wash bag I found viagra . I am
Just stumped . He never ever had any erectile issues. What's going on here? Any opinions welcome
Please. I'm trying to make sense of it all. Thanks

Nagged him I meant

He's using Viagra when snagging his girlfriend. Some people use it "recreationally" rather than to treat ED. Some women take it too.

Shagging not snagging!

Ok. Why do I feel so insulted and hurt?

Like the anti dandruff advert - maybe that’s why he never had any erectile problems.

But, it’s his business now. You get it over the counter and it’s pretty mainstream nowadays. Just let him lead his life and you carry on with yours.

I say this kindly, but you're not together anymore. It's not really your business to have much of a point of view on.

He has a girlfriend, I could understand some sort of view on that, but his sex life isn't your business now.

He's got a younger model he's worried he might not be able to keep up with sexually & is using it to impress her with his 'stamina'. Not your problem any more. You're well rid.

you have to let this go, you have no other choice in the matter.

@Nuttyfellalovesnutella thanks you are right.. I don't get the dandruff reference though?im still reeling from it all so in a bit shocked

You - understandably - feel hurt that a) he’s not hiding his new sex life and b) you’ve found evidence that he’s experimenting with her / wanting to prolong with her in a way he didn’t with you.

But, as a PP said and I agree with (and the gentle sentiment), it’s no longer your business and you need to try to forget you found it.

Thanks. It does hurt me though. It came as a big shock, the break up.

It’s natural to feel hurt when someone you liked is seeing someone else. He might feel the same way when you move on too. Theres no switch to automatically stop liking and thinking about someone.

Recreational cocaine use? Often causes lump dick

Cocaine!! Jesus I hope not . When you are with someone for twenty years and had a good strong healthy sex life, it feels confusing and hurtful to see that he uses viagra. Maybe I never satisfied him and maybe that's why he is gone. He always had a bigger drive then me but unusually so. We still had a very healthy and regular sex life . Girlfriend is early thirties. I'm middle forties.

how do you know he wasn't using it with you ?

I just know. He is so chaotic and disorganised thatbhe can't hide anything and out toiletries / tablets etc were always hanging around. I found - new box of condoms woth a few used at the end of the summer that he had ' hidden' in another wash bag ,when cleaning. This is when he left me .

Horrible situation for you OP, you've been given a window in to his new life, new relationship, new sex life. I reckon he's in the throes of a new relationship and for that reason he's taking it to either impress her with his stamina or because he can't manage it as often as she wants it so he needs to take it. Either way she may not even know he's taking it.

Like other posters have said, you're not together anymore so painful though it is it really isn't anything to do with you now. Try and disconnect and keep away from his stuff.

Id take it as a sign that you need to expedite the split. I wouldn't take it as a slight at all. He is behaving like an idiot. Talk about your midlife crisis. Ew.

It's the thought of him with her having sex that's killing me . That was us, that was our thing and when life got tough it always was the glue that bound us. I must not have been enough for him. I'm not sure that anyone could have ever been enough for him, though really .

The irony is that all through our marriage, he had medical problems, not sex related, but as myriad of low key ailments that needs medical intervention. He refused to attend a doctor or treat his ailments but instead spent days with n bed, sick, moaning, complaining, grumpy when a simple prescription would have helped him and not ruined our family days out or holidays. Yet here he is , having attending the doctor recently for all these treatments that ensure that he is not symptomatic when with her .yes I'm probably bitter and resentful .

I’m sorry you are so hurt OP. I can feel your pain coming off your posts.

The thing is, he probably had this woman on the go before he announced the split. You already know that. From the end of summer until now is too long for you to be in this awful limbo. Practical reasons- no. He must get out and let you start to heal. Fuck his practical reasons- he should have thought about that before he started shagging someone else.

Get him out ASAP, you don’t need all this in your face.

I know it sounds ridiculous, but he never needed it with you - but needs it with the new girlfriend? No winner or loser here but it sounds like he was more turned on with you for 22 years then he is with the new GF 3 months into their relationship!
Chin up! Take comfort in that!

That's sweet thanks. Funnily enough despite the dumping, I never had my self esteem
Wrapped around him. I felt confident and strong and have a good deal
Of self belief. I certainly didn't feel ugly or unattractive or unwanted but .tonght do, though .For
My own sense of self I enjoyed looking well, making the effort with hair and make up. I could be slimmer but enjoy the finer things in life far too much at times!
I worked with what I have, I thought I always tried to looked well but tonight I feel like shit . Now I see my faults and my weak points and again, funnily enough, I could not think of anything worse than ever dating again.