About regulating your own behaviour!

[Fucck]

If you have chance of a social outing that you might drink at but have commitments the next day, do you go?

We have a social thing planned, that is already paid for and has been booked and 'in the making' for over nine months. It's very very soon.

Other person has now said they can't go, which throws it all into disarray.
At first I thought it was because they couldn't physically go on the night but, on further explanation, it seems something the next day has come up and now they have decided they can't possibly have a hangover and be ill for the thing the next day. (Not work or professional)
This is not the first time they've reneged on plans for this reason but it's always been for a fairly minor event so I've let it slide but this time it's severely pissed me off! Why can't they bloody rein in their behaviour accordingly and do both!? I'm now out of pocket, and really frigging disappointed, for a very long-standing arrangement which also impacts other people.

They always go overboard with drinking when they are out and often end up vomiting in the morning.
I like a social drink but can enjoy a few and stop, but I'm no stiff when it comes to having a bit of fun, we actually have had a lot great nights but they just go a bit too far with their "fun"
No driving involved so that's not an issue, even the next day.

N.B.
They are absolutely not an alcoholic, they can go weeks/months without a single drink but when the opportunity presents itself they just seem to lose their self control. But AIBU to be thoroughly pissed off?

Sorry but not being able to regulate your intake is alcoholism, many alcoholics go for months without a drink because they can't regulate their intake.
They have explained to you what the issue is, don't arrange midweek activities that involve alcohol and expect them to attend.

I agree with you
If I'm going to work the next day then I just don't drink as much if I'm out.

Maybe they can’t do what you can do so easily, and instead of compromising their health or more important plans by risking being unable to regulate their behaviour, they’ve made the grown up decision not to go?

YANBU to be pissed off

But a lot of people are like this. You see it all the time on MN that some people can't just eat one biscuit out of a packet. They say can't stop until the whole pack is gone.

A lot of people are like this with alcohol too. They can't just stop at one or two drinks.

Would it be easier if your friend just didn't drink at all?

YANBU it's rude and shit to cancel plans because new ones have come up which is essentially what's happened here.

I would think maybe they're trying to avoid drinking given their form, but it doesn't sound like it.

I don't think it's a great idea to book something that requires 100% of invitees to attend 9 months in advance! Any one of you could become ill the day before or have a family emergency. I haven't even fully committed to my works Christmas night out in 2 weeks time, I currently have a chest infection/virus, DS's school has a noro outbreak so if he succumbs I won't be going. Saying that I would never to commit to this sort of thing in the first place.

If they actually decline to avoid getting drunk, they kind of are regulating their behaviour though. Might be a bit extreme, but they take actual steps, so it's a good thing.

I can't understand why an adult is unable to stop at 1 glass or not drink at all to be honest, but I'd rather someone cancelling than being ridiculously drunk and spoiling it for everybody else.

Sounds to me like your friend has an alcohol problem. Regularly getting so drunk you vomit is not healthy or normal.

I don't think it's a great idea to book something that requires 100% of invitees to attend 9 months in advance

Ticketed event! Unavoidable to book that early.

Regularly getting so drunk you vomit is not healthy or normal

Like I said, not regular at all really. Probably not even monthly, Maybe quarterly! Still annoying though.

I'd absolutely love it if they came and said "none for me/only one for me ... big day tomorrow" it wouldn't bother me one bit!

YANBU to be pissed off that they cancelled...AGAIN .

However some people can't regulate, especially if they rarely go out or don't feel like they're enjoying themselves /taking full advantage of a night out if they have to watch their drink or limit to one or two.

I rarely go out,but when I do I drink...a lot! I know my limits though so never get blind drunk and luckily I don't get hangovers. However , I'd rather stay home rather than sticking to one or two,because it happens so rarely. Ofc, that means I never commit to plans on the day after .

What you need to tackle is the cancelling,being out of pocket and being unreliable. The drinking habits are very unlikely to change and starting a discussion on that will put your friend into defensive mode.