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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do not want children yet

2 replies

Beatone · 28/11/2019 09:06

Do not want to ramble so will try and keep this short and concise.
Me and my Fiance have gone through a rough patch, no sex for 2 years, couldn't communicate and very nearly split up. I'm late 20s he's early 30s. We managed to get through it and in the past month have rekindled our sexual relationship. We've had intercourse once.
I'm not on contraception due to not having sex for two years I felt my body could have a break.
On the day of intercourse, I explained we shouldn't have sex because lack of contraception (did ask him to wear condom he said no) but didn't want to put him off the idea completely due to waiting two years for this moment! We did then start to have sex for around 30 seconds then I said stop because I was worried.
He then said 'I don't see why we can't have a child, we're financially stable, good jobs, home owner and been together for 7 years.' I then told him I would go back on contraception and he asked me not to. All of these things he said are correct but I still don't want children yet.
I now feel like I could already be pregnant, the day of the incident was my "ovulation day" I have a calender app that tracks my period etc. I've felt sick nearly everyday this week and I just really hope I'm not.
I feel I'm being selfish and unreasonable by not wanting a child and if I am pregnant I will be so dissapointed but I know my Fiance would be over the moon.

OP posts:
OhamIreally · 28/11/2019 09:13

Did you fiancé know you were ovulating that day?
I reckon he's done it deliberately to trap you. This is not a foundation for a loving home for a child. You need to decide if this is how you want to live the rest of your life - trapped in a sexless marriage with a child you didn't want.

CoffeeBeansGalore · 28/11/2019 09:19

2 year rough patch & he thinks a baby is a good idea?

Babies are hard work, most of which mum does - pregnancy, labour, breast feeding etc even if he steps up & does nappies, bottles & night shifts when baby won't sleep. Your body goes through it, your career goes on hold, your social life suffers. If he gets fed up, you are the one left "holding the baby".

No you not being unreasonable to want to wait a bit longer.

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