Aibu for making DH wake up?

[Youngmamaa2]

So DH works contracting & has been off work for the last 6 weeks, his next contract starts on Monday. I think iv made him get up with the kids maybe twice.
Usually he refuses to wake up till 10-11am, goes to bed around 10pm.
He does suffer with mild depression.
Now my DD 8months, doesn't sleep, I maybe get 3, 4 hours at the max sleep with her every single night ( I wish it was an exaggeration). We also has DS who's two, he generally wakes up at 7am.

Last night DH fell asleep at 8pm on the sofa, came up to bed at about 9pm and got a lovely full night's sleep. DD was up 4 times before 12am 🙃 so you can imagine how the rest of the night went.
DS comes in and wakes us up, 7am as usual, I tap DH and ask if hel wake up with them this morning, he replies 5 minutes. Fair enough.
Couple minutes went by, I say "babe you getting up", he lifts up turns to me and is like " no you f'ing get up with them",
In disbelief I was abit like, "in what kind of world is that fair where I'm up all night and you get to sleep through till 10am"
He stands up, shouts " don't you ever ask me to do anything for you again you"

And takes the kids, but has a tone with them!
He usual helps alot during the day, usually can't really fault him. But aibu, should I just let him sleep? Also I'm Sahm

My ex was like this. Apparently I had to give him 24 hours notice to get up with ds in the night ..... funnily enough ds didn't get the memo regarding night wakings.

So , as i say , he's an ex .. ...

@champagneandfromage50 apologies if that reply sounded arsey, I've just read it back .

Sorry OP your DH is actually a complete dick. I would never dream of letting that happen to my wife. He needs to step up and share responsibility for the kids he created and start doing his fair share.

Im astonished he doesnt help at all in the morning especially with kids that young

OP 💐 that’s not ok!
He thinks he’s doing you a favour by getting up once in a blue moon with his own children??
I’m sorry but in your situation, if my DH had been off work for 6 weeks sleeping through the night whilst I barely slept with a baby, I’d have absolutely lost my shit within the first week!!! DH/DP’s treat us in the way we allow them to- set your standards and tell him clearly to buck up or get out!

I’m afraid I have no sympathy for ‘mild’ depression/anxiety/stress as I don’t actually know a single person other than maybe my mum, who doesn’t have it! I have it, DH has it, all of our friends seem to have it - yes Dr diagnosed but few medicated.

At what point does it become ok for us to neglect our kids because DH and I both have mild depression/anxiety? Unfortunately children trump anything but quite serious MH issues x

Wow what an arsehole. I have mod - severe PND and PNA and yet still care for a 15 month old and hold down a job without being a dick about it. I got up at 5am this morning. Its self, indulgent and very luxurious for lord dick face to believe he should get 12hrs in bed because he has mild depression. His attitude is abusive. The shouting at you for daring to ask him to do something and his tone with the kids. I found couples therapy and do or die time was all the kept my marriage going when DH did this. Do not take it laying down and do not cover for him . When people ask how you are tell them you're exhausted and how shit he is being. Tell him if he ever speaks to you like that again he can move the fuck out. Is it possible for you to find work? You are very vulnerable being a SAMH but that sort of partner.

I have seasonal depression and other mental health issues, it's not an excuse to be a dick. He shouldn't treat you like that.

If DH is tired he is grumpy but he knows not to take it out on me, if he does snap at me I leave it/ignore him then when he is in a better mood we sit down and have a chat and let him know how he made me feel and I expect an explanation to why he thinks he can talk to me like that.

My youngest was 5 when I left oldest 10. I'd had two lie ins in 10 years.

And then of course they would first be brought into bed by him "for a cuddle" so basically climbed all over and woken up. Before taking them downstairs and making as much noise and fuss as possible. Wtf was I thinking.

He now has them 10 days a month. Bahaha has to get up now dosent he!

I get 10 glorious lie ins. It is amazing op. You want to give it a go? I cannot recommendations it enough!

I came down, DD and was screaming covered in crap, he didn't think to change he, neither of them have had breakfast yey

He’s an arsehole isn’t he. You should be able to ask your partner for help without him kicking off. Plus he’s not taking care of the children. Changing a nappy takes 2mins ffs!

There are so many threads like this at the moment.I have all the sympathy in the world for depression,I've had it several times in periods of my life including pnd but I still took care of my child.Dh lost his dad suddenly 4 years ago but still did family things and took care of ds from the very next day.It sounds to me line hes picking and choosing when it effects him like pp has said.

He's completely selfish and self absorbed. Only thinking about his own needs. He also has no desire to to parent his own fucking children. That's clearly your job.

He is taking the piss, don't facilitate this, you need to have a serious conversation with him, otherwise he may as well just leave.

What is he bringing to the table here?

As someone who does have depression, it bothers me greatly when it’s used as an excuse to treat others badly. Some people really take the piss & in today’s PC society they abuse depression because if we question their behaviour we are stigmatising the mentally ill

He hasn’t been working for 6 weeks & had a full night’s sleep. He is totally taking the piss unless this is some drip feed

Yes because now you are put in your place and wont ask him again because a) you know he'll neglect the children b) all the feeding and nappy changes will still be waiting for you c) you wont be able to relax anyway because of a&b. What an arsehole. I hope you asked him what the fuck he thinks he's playing at

8months and 2, I’d get out now quick, he sounds utterly horrid.

Sorry I’m generally take the view to work things out but he’s been off for 6 weeks and doesn’t help in the night. He gets 10-12 hours sleep and you get barely any.

He sounds like a very selfish nasty man, sorry op.

What would happen if you had depression and just lay in bed all day op?

Tell him to pull his finger out or fuck him off.

Forgot to add my sil has 3 children now 8,9 and 11.She cant work even though they been at school for years as bil cant be relied on to take and collect them from school(lazy gamer cunt).Dont duplicate her sad life,feeling as though you cant rely on the children's own father to do things for them.

Omg that is neglect towards the children and abusive towards you. My hubby gets up through the night and let's me sleep and when I get up with our son early he thanks me. You and the children deserve better.

I'd be appalled if my husband behaved liked this. Seems like he doesn't care about your well being at all. Selfish git.