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AIBU?

Unprofessional conduct

6 replies

daffodilbrain · 27/11/2019 23:24

I was in a senior meeting at work today and a colleague was having a go at me for something not being completed by my team (I'm new in the role) he likes the sound of his own voice and to tell the rest of us what should be happening in the business etc that I can handle.....anyway whilst we were discussing the issue another colleague on teleconference IM'd him and said ' go on continue to twist the knife)' I know this because I the first chap had his laptop on so he could project on the screen to the room. Chap who IM's didn't realise this. AIBU to think this is unacceptable behaviour in a meeting? Do you think I should put it down to banter and forget about it. At the time
I responded by telling teleconf man ' to get off his soapbox' now I'm wondering if they are trying to undermine me? What do you think?

OP posts:
Streamside · 27/11/2019 23:54

I wouldn't ignore it, store it as ammunition for future use at the very least.I'd at least email both of them saying you noticed and would they like to explain what it meant.

HundredMilesAnHour · 28/11/2019 00:10

said ' go on continue to twist the knife'

Was this meant to encourage him or was it mean to stop him? It's not clear if this is actually a sarcastic putdown of your colleague being mean to you or if it was encouraging him? I actually would have assumed it was a putdown.

To be honest, your colleague sounds like a typical man who is jockeying for position, especially if you're new and could be perceived as a rival. Still irritating but if you're senior I'd expect you to be able to take this in your stride and make short shrift of anyone doing this. I don't think telling him to get off his "soapbox" is the best way to do it as that doesn't sound massively professional and it's rather judgemental. Just shut the conversation down and stay on the meeting agenda.

I don't think you need to make a big deal of it. You're aware that this guy isn't your biggest fan. Stay professional. Prove him wrong.

SuzieSunshine · 28/11/2019 00:25

I read it that the guy who sent the message meant that he thought the man speaking was being unnecessarily overbearing in the way he was conducting the meeting. Sent with a hint of sarcasm?

chachachachachacha · 28/11/2019 00:36

It sounds like he was standing up for you or am I reading that wrong?

Justwantapeacefullife · 28/11/2019 11:01

I'd agree it sounds like he was standing up for you, however I would have very calmly pointed out to the presenter that he had his IM open for all to see.
I'm sorry you have to deal with people like this man in the workplace. As hundred miles said it's quite typical and whilst I agree at a senior level it is something you will learn to manage if you havent already - it doesn't mean you should.
I take the opportunities to call out misogyny and rude behaviour at work now I'm a little older and quite senior. Having worked all my life in a male dominated career I see it at this point as my duty to call out this crap so even it doesn't do me any favours at least the next generation of women coming up see they don't have to play the game the same way we have

DeathStare · 28/11/2019 11:06

I would also have read this as him being sarcastic

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