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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask my partner to...

18 replies

Thatsnotmynameisit · 27/11/2019 22:42

Put together some drawers for our baby, who is due in 5 weeks!

I've been waiting and waiting and waiting for my partner to clear the spare room of his stuff to be able to organise the babies things. He's had a lot to sell so I've been patient. Until now...

We had a little scare with the baby a little over a week ago and ever since we've been saying we need to get organised as anything can happen now.. she could come anytime and I don't feel prepared at all (will I ever??)

We don't have much room other than what will be the babies room to get her things together.. so today after my midwife appointment I text him 'Do you think you'd be able to get the drawers up for the weekend please? I really need to start sorting things out and getting organized. The baby could come anytime now and I wouldnt have a clue where anything is. Its really stressing me out x'

His response 'You do realise you weren't bothered about the room being done straight away for when she is here so it's a bit unfair to put all this on me when I'm doing what I can' now I've always said the room doesn't need decorating straight away.. we just need storage for her things for now. So I replied 'where do you expect her clothes to go? I'm not asking you to decorate just put some drawers together' this was the end of the conversation and he has come home from work.. not spoke to me.. put the drawers together and gone to bed sulking. Not one word to me.

Was I BU to ask him to put them together?
It didn't have to be today.. and he would be annoyed if I did them myself.. do I deserve silent treatment??

Sorry if this is a bit jumbled, I'm just exhausted and confused.

OP posts:
CalleighDoodle · 27/11/2019 22:45

He has no intention of clearing his stuff.

Thatsnotmynameisit · 27/11/2019 22:46

Should I just hire a skip and get rid myself?
I'm extremely tempted to right now.

OP posts:
CalleighDoodle · 27/11/2019 23:43

Id tell him the skip will come on x day. I will be clearing the room. move before then what you want to keep. anything left i will assume you no longer value.

BastardGoDarkly · 27/11/2019 23:45

Yes, give him a date, to either sell or store it, but it WILL be gone.

You were definitely not unreasonable, he was definitely a dick about it.

Hellofromtheotherside2020 · 27/11/2019 23:48

Yep. Tell him you have a skip coming Monday and that he's got the weekend to sort out what he wants to keep. Watch the fucker move like lightning 😂
I'm due in five weeks too (but am moving house in 7 weeks so haven't even bought anything yet!), don't stress lovely, you've got an amazing journey ahead

ferntwist · 27/11/2019 23:50

That’s so selfish and childish of him. YADNBU

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 28/11/2019 00:27

And if he still doesn't shift his arse, find a couple of local teenagers and offer them a tenner to throw all the crap in the skip for you. Don't be lugging stuff yourself!

timeisnotaline · 28/11/2019 00:29

Yes to telling him you have a skip coming Monday.

RollOnNextYear · 28/11/2019 00:37

My dh is one of those ill do it in a min.. 2 days later not done not because of clutter or whatever but because he's easily sidetracked or will fall asleep in bath or something.
Now I have said ill ask once and then do myself..he thought I was joking..
I wasn't.. He hates it he's always like you should of reminded me.. Nope.
It don't help I'm impatient. When 34w with dd we got new bedroom furniture as would fit the cot in better. He kept saying tomorrow I'll build that.. 4 days later.. He went to work.. Came back I'd build the wardobe, 2 chest drawers, 2 bedsides and a cot. Plus advertised sold and had rh wold stuff collected.
I don't know if he was impressed that I'm so stubborn and or annoyed that I did it. The following week I painted the bedroom. In fairness it was spur of the moment when he was at work. ( he can't paint to save his head anyway so wouldn't of asked)

Thatsnotmynameisit · 28/11/2019 07:44

RollOnNextYear I'm coming to realise he's a 'in a min/never does it' type.. before I was pregnant I would do anything diy related myself as I actually enjoy it but now I'm just exhausted and have been told to rest by my midwife and doctors.

He always puts things off, when I was pretty much bed bound for 2 weeks early pregnancy he came home one day 'if you can make it out of bed I'll redecorate the bedroom this weekend, I know you want it doing' I got out of bed that weekend.. and the bedroom is STILL the exact same now! Hmm

I'll give him the weekend and get some help in to help me clear it if he doesn't.

Good on you for cracking on with it yourself, its killing me that I'm having to 'rest' lol

OP posts:
Thatsnotmynameisit · 28/11/2019 07:45

Thanks for everyone's responses, glad you all think I wasn't BU

CalleighDoodle hes got the weekend or it's going Grin

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 28/11/2019 08:18

Good luck with him being at all helpful with the baby. Sounds like you're going to have two children

Vulpine · 28/11/2019 08:21

Could you do them yourself?

Thatsnotmynameisit · 28/11/2019 09:02

Shoxfordian
Starting to realise this now we're close to her arrival

Vulpine
He came home in a sulk last night and put them up - still not talking to me though Hmm

OP posts:
Thatsnotmynameisit · 28/11/2019 09:04

Oh and he's cleared most of the room.. into the loft.. I guess it'll stay there now!
I don't go up there so it doesn't bother me so much (for now)

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 28/11/2019 13:50

He sulks
He doesn't do anything helpful
Can you extricate yourself from this situation? Did he even want to be a father?

CalleighDoodle · 28/11/2019 22:05

Sulking? Silent treatment? Dear god. That is not normal behaviour.

welshladywhois40 · 29/11/2019 08:34

Why don't you empty his drawers and use those for the baby until he builds the new ones!

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