AIBU to think 90% of relationships are ended by cheaters?

[CinderellasSecrets]

Just that really, it seems like every single relationship I know that has broken down has involved cheating or accusations of cheating on some level? And most of the time it's the man who is cheating. Why do people feel the need to cheat, surely it's better to leave an unhappy relationship than risk hurting someone who your supposed to care about?

Lots of people break up for other reasons, but cheaters are dicks.

Not here, not my new boyfriend either. Most the people I know in my age group (wrong side of 40) it's just growing apart

Sometimes there isn't one reason.
I knew a woman who left her dh because he put the knife back in the butter.
She'd obviously had years of enough whatever and just snapped.

If you asked her she'd say it was the knife in the butter, but not been happy for years.

I agree though, most do seem to be men cheating.
Maybe we should look at the reasons. Obviously not condoning it at all.

Because people tend to choose the path of least resistance, and that may mean staying with someone they might not be that happy with because leaving them would create lots of issues. I can’t see how anyone who is truly happy could cheat.

I know of at least 5 couples who have broken up very recently through cheating, and my last relationship I was cheated on so I suppose this is making me curious now. The couple's I know ages range from early 20s to mid 50s so quite a range too. I don't think cheating is right at all but I do wonder why it seems to be quite common, or at least in my experience it is.

I can't talk statistics cos I have no idea. But I think a lot of people don't have the courage to leave a relationship before they have a new partner lined up.

I don't know. People split up for all sorts of reasons but cheating seems to be commonplace. It sort of makes you wonder why so many people chase monogamous relationships when maybe monogamy isn't something that makes everyone happy.

I’m not sure it’s as simple as the act of cheating causing the break up. I think it can but equally I think the cheating might be because the relationship was broken and it was meeting someone new that gave the person the courage to leave. It’s easy to say you should just leave it you’re unhappy but not always that easy to do it.

I’ve read articles which interestingly said women tend to generally cheat as exit affairs from unhappy relationships where as men are more likely to cheat for other reasons whilst still wanting to stay with the person they’re committed to.

It's not been my experience, most people i know who have split from a long term partner it's because, as someone said above, they were growing apart

In my experience money causes the biggest problems. For example, a gambling debt or finding out your spouse has either built up a massive debt or is on the path and not willing to change/ modify their shopping/ living standards. Afterall, most weddings I have personally attended has put bride and groom in massive debt. I wish more people would just do a small wedding they can afford. But it is not my wedding so I keep quite and let the adults do what they want.