Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would I be unreasonable to ask for this money back?

27 replies

ReindeerRoad · 27/11/2019 17:16

It’s only £7 so not loads but with Christmas coming up money is tight for me.

My sister was looking for a sleeping bag for her baby, I spotted one half price in Sainsbury’s so bought it for her, intending to give her as a gift from me. When I bought it home my brother said he would take it to give as a Christmas present off him.

Would I be unreasonable to ask him for the money for it? He hasn’t offered and I feel really tight asking for £7 back when I was going to buy it anyway but like I said money is tight this close to Christmas.

OP posts:
PastTippingPoint · 27/11/2019 17:19

Yanbu! Your brother is a cheeky git! I would definitely be asking for the money, doesn't matter that it's only £7, you bought it.

ScreamingValenta · 27/11/2019 17:20

No, not unreasonable at all. If you've paid for it, it'll be a present from you, not your brother.

Just say that you need the money back to buy another present, as he's now giving that one.

User342109097569098 · 27/11/2019 17:21

I couldn’t ask for £7 will it really make that much of a difference for you?

Expressedways · 27/11/2019 17:22

Why did you give it to your brother in the first place?! But yeah, I’d ask for the money for it, the CF.

TheReluctantCountess · 27/11/2019 17:24

He either needs to give you the money for it, or give it back to you and buy his own gift.

Wildorchidz · 27/11/2019 17:25

When I bought it home my brother said he would take it to give as a Christmas present off him.

What? Why did you agree?

JuniperBeer · 27/11/2019 17:26

“Hi bro, have you got the £7 for X’s sleeping bag please, ta”. Easy.

ScreamingValenta · 27/11/2019 17:28

User - OP has mentioned that money is tight for her this Christmas.

donttellmetwice · 27/11/2019 17:29

Oh for sure ask!

ChasingRainbows19 · 27/11/2019 17:29

If he wants to give it as a gift he should be paying you for it the CF seven pound or not!

bridgetreilly · 27/11/2019 17:29

Huh? Either you paid for it and it's your Christmas present, or he gives you the money and it's his. Definitely ask for the money!

elmosducks · 27/11/2019 17:32

I'd say 'ok cheeky, you owe my £7 for the sleeping bag'

CravingCheese · 27/11/2019 17:44

No, not unreasonable at all.

happytoday73 · 27/11/2019 17:45

Yes that's fine if you give me £7 should have been the reply. Why does he get something for nothing and you loose out?. If he doesn't pay you give as gift

chuck7 · 27/11/2019 17:46

And surely at they point you say, OK that'll be £7 then please...? I can't picture the conversation

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 27/11/2019 17:54

Unless your brother is a very young child who wants to give a present but doesn't have the understanding or funds to shop for or pay for it himself, he is massively cheeky.

I'd be inclined to play dim here and tell him you feel a bit bad that he's going to the effort of getting giftwrap and wrapping up the present when it should be you doing it, as it's from you. If he protests that it's actually from him, act very surprised and say "Oh! But I bought it myself and you haven't paid me for it, so how could it be from you?!"

Force him to spell out that he wanted the glory by pretending that your present was from him. Hopefully, he'll see his position is completely untenable and give you the money.

If he doesn't, wait until he's also present and ask your sister if she liked your present - say brother wanted to take it to her (maybe to ensure she got it ASAP if he was seeing her first).

The price is completely irrelevant. It's obviously significant enough to him to make it worth giving as a present (which it certainly is). If you were wealthy and he was skint, and he asked hesitantly if you would mind if he gave it to her as if from him - and he could make it up to you another time, then maybe. But just to help himself and steal your idea and effort, let alone your actual money that you paid for it, is outrageous. He needs to be called out on it if he doesn't stump up. This is absolutely not acceptable.

I don't know his marital/relationship situation, but that behaviour reminds me of the kind of Disney dad who treats their child, stops the money for it from what they pay their ex, meaning that she can't afford essentials for the children - and then keeps going on about how much more he loves them than their mum obviously does.

ReindeerRoad · 27/11/2019 17:56

The conversation was,
“I spotted this reduced to £7 in Sainsbury’s so I bought it for x”

“Oh I’ll get that for x for Christmas”

So I (wrongly) assumed since I’d said the price and he’d said he wanted it to give for Christmas that he’d give me the money without me needing to ask. If I decided to get something of someone to give off me, I would give them the money straight away so they wouldn’t need to ask. I always feel really awkward asking for money back.

OP posts:
WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 27/11/2019 17:57

I couldn’t ask for £7 will it really make that much of a difference for you?

I've just sent you an invoice for £7 for 'miscellanous general expenses' - bank details to follow. It won't make any difference to you just to pay it, will it....?

Thestrangestthing · 27/11/2019 17:57

He wants you to pay for a gift for him to give to someone else. Nope

BeanBag7 · 27/11/2019 17:57

When I bought it home my brother said he would take it to give as a Christmas present off him.

What? Why didn't you just say "no"?
I can't imagine this conversation.
"Hey look at this thing I bought for niece"
"Looks great. I'll take that, thanks"
"Ok bye!"

bobsyourauntie · 27/11/2019 17:59

Of course YANBU, if he wants to give it then he should pay for it. Why did he think he could just take it without giving you any money and why didn't you ask him for the money there and then?

This is how CF become CF because people let them get away with it, so ask him for the money or the item back because it is not his to give.

Shoxfordian · 27/11/2019 18:03

Couldn't you have replied
I've already bought her it so you'll have to get her something else
Or
You can give her it if you give me the money for it

HollowTalk · 27/11/2019 18:28

He has a choice - either give you the gift back or give you the £7. Don't let him get away with this, OP!

damnthatanxiety · 27/11/2019 18:28

my brother said he would take it to give as a Christmas present off him

huh? Why wouldn't you just say 'no, I bought it to give it to her....you find your own gift....'?

squiglet111 · 27/11/2019 18:49

Have you given it to him? Just take it back and say no it's from you... You did the shopping and chose it...it's from you! Be strong!

Swipe left for the next trending thread