To be feeling guilty for wanting another baby

[MrsJuly18]

So, as titled, I didn't think I'd ever have any more children, we have 2 already. After a unplanned miscarriage a few year ago, and suspected chemical this year, we have decided to try for another baby. However my sister In law is trying to concieve and has been for 1 year. I know I should put my own happiness before anyone else but I can't help but feel a sense of guilt for deciding to try incase we fall before them. Any opinions would be greatly appreciated

My opinion is that it is your life and you should do what you feel you want and need to do.
You've had to go through terrible losses. Presumably if your sil had been pregnant at those times you wouldn't have felt worse because of it? No, you'd have been happy for her because the two things aren't connected.
My friend got pregnant a year before me. I can honestly say I was delighted for her.

@liverbird77 thank you for your reply, I do completely agree with you, I just can't help but feeling a bit guilty but that's just the way I am, too soft for my own good. Your reply certainly puts it into perspective and makes me feel a whole lot better about the situation ❤️

@MrsJuly18 good luck with getting pregnant! Hope it happens soon for you and your sil x

It’s a tempting guilt trap to fall into but honestly you’re being too considerate.

My SIL is a few years older and has been married much longer than us. There was lots of vague talk of TTC but never confirmation. It was always MIL saying ‘oh they’re going to try after summer/promotion/house move’ but DH and I just went for it and are now six months along 👍🏻

You can’t feel guilty or run your life to other people’s time scales x

I understand your guilty feelings, I feel them too sometimes. My best friend has been trying for years, and is undertaking IVF currently, and my sister has waited a long time due to he health before starting to try, and it’s taking them a long time, and yet I just get pregnant in the blink of an eye. A couple a missed pills whilst on holiday and a Bfp, I felt much guilt then, and I often feel guilty now when I think about when we’ll try for another (soonish), but you can’t put your own life on hold for others, sad as it is for them, the world does keep spinning.

Thanks everyone for such positive replies, I did seem to concieve really quickly with my other 2 so I have a feeling it will be quick this time around 🤞

But you are all totally right, I can't let it stop me. I'm absolutely petrified to even tell her when/if the time comes 😬 xxx

Your title is misleading, you’re not feeling guilty for wanting another baby, you’re feeling guilty that you are able to conceive easily while others can’t. It’s sad and as I know from experience being one of the ones who can’t, it feels very unfair but it is nothing to do with you and as pps have said you can’t put your life on hold. Hope you and your SIL get lucky soon!

@SerenDippitty sorry if it came across as misleading, however I did conceive easily with my other 2 and I know I might not this time. I genuinely feel guilty about wanting to try to conceive as I know how long my sister in law has been trying to conceive and also how much she wants it. I can totally sympathise with people who are struggling of course. Thank you for the well wishes. I really hope it happens soon, for the both of us