Pregnant again after 5 miscarriages

[MiVi007]

Dear ladies,
I am 5 wks pregnant again after 5 early losses, have no children. I am a complete mess, rationally I know I am being unreasonable and that I should stay positive etc...but I haven't slept for the past 7 days and my anxiety levels are up the roof. I am trying to keep it together at work but all I want to do is to curl up in bed and not move incase something goes wrong...?! I don't want to ask to be signed off as physically there's nothing wrong with me...

Has anyone got similar experience? How do I stopp feeling so anxious/scarred? Any help/words of wisdom please? Sorry if I sound pathetic...xx

I’ve had lots of losses. I can’t say that anything I did helped me worry less. I will say that worrying didn’t make any difference to the end outcome.

Trite as it is, even after many losses you are still likely to go on and have a child. It doesn’t help how you feel though.

Have you been referred to a recurrent miscarriage clinic? Do you know what (if anything) is causing the losses? I found being referred made a difference while pregnant as the way that they manage pregnancy was far more structured than my local hospital.

Try to do some activities that are relaxing- you may not notice the difference, but it won’t do any harm.

Sending you sticky vibes.

Thank you for your words, lifecouldbeadream!
Yes, luckily I have been referred...but no apparent reason was found.
I am hoping to be seen in their early pregnancy unit in the next week or so... but you are right, worrying about it won't change the outcome so I better pull myself together!🤞🤞🤞
Thanks again

I’ve had 4 miscarriages. It is horrible. I stopped getting excited and just waited for bad news. Nobody should have to go through that.

I’m sending you lots of very unmumsnetty hugs. If you want to stay in bed, do it. But remember that there is very little you can do to influence the outcome at this stage. xxx

(See how much your post has affected me - I put kisses at the end of my post! On Mumsnet of all places!)

Gentle hugs, I've been in your shoes and it's awful.

Please ask them to do a thorough check of your thyroid not just bloods but a scan as well if they haven't ready. It took years before the figured out that was what caused my multiple mc.

Sending you positive vibes x

I'm blessed that I've not been in your shoes, I can't add anything else only that I'm sending positive thoughts and prayers your way.

I've had 6. I became desensitized in the end . It's the powerlessness and frustration and the vulnerability and loss of future self concept all rolled into one grief sodden bow.

Take each day as it comes. Distract yourself. You aren't and can't be in control.

I do have 4 healthy boys now though. So there can be light.

@Minxmumma

Me too. I got dx with Hashimotos and homo for mthfr 667t. I went on a strict Auto Immune protocol diet, reduced inflammation in my system with fuck loads of supplements and took thyroid meds.

Got my autoantibodies down from 15000 to 362 through diet. Look it up @MiVi007

You don’t sound pathetic. You are not remotely pathetic. You are very determined and brave to be trying again.

But I get you. I’ve been there, and it’s awful, and I’m sorry you’re going through it. Just try and remember that there’s nothing you can do, so it’s pointless to worry. Very hard to do, I know.

Wishing you all the best

@MiVi007

I hope I don’t sound too harsh. It really isn’t meant that way.

In a weird sort of way, not having found a cause is a positive thing, though I know when you’re hoping for an explanation, it’s sort of the last thing you want to hear.

By way of some positive info. I have been pregnant 10 times that I know of, and now have 3 healthy children. Most pregnancies were similar, and there was no obvious difference between the successful ones and the ones that weren’t to the point that I was completely convinced that I had m/c the last one. Which is why I say no amount of worrying affected the end outcome.

It’s true that you need to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes to truly understand what they are going through. Even your partner/DH won’t truly get it, because they don’t have the physical stuff to deal with. Try to be kind to yourself, accept that worrying about it is COMPLETELY normal given what you have been through to date. Do what you feel you need to in order to manage the next few weeks.

I found this book really helpful

www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0813540534/buyat3255-21?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

It’s written quite scientifically and really have me hope that it’d all be ok in the end.

I think having confidence that you’re being looked after well is helpful.

*gave

Thank you ever so much to ALL of you amazing ladies for your messages...it really helped!!

OP I've been in your shoes.

Fingers crossed this one sticks and all the best.

Congratulations lovely. I have had 2 early miscarriages in the past and 2 ectopic pregnancies. I am keeping everything crossed for you. Haven't you been investigated as to why you had so many losses? I think you are able to be referred after 3 consecutive miscarriages. X

No experience but just wanted to say congratulations and good luck. I really hope this is the one.

Good luck! of course you will be a nervous wreck, it would be bizarre if you were not worried. I've been pg after 3 mcs and it was really hard. What helped me was trying not to think about it. Keeping busy, doing endless crosswords/sudoku etc to stop my mind going back to it. You can't stop a mc by worrying about it. Living one day at a time from one scan to the next. It seems impossible but they do pass. I hope they are offering you plenty of scans? And when you get to the point where you start to feel kicks, it gets much easier - you get lots of reassurances rather than having to hold out for a scan.

I have an IVF 8 month old after 5 IVF miscarriages (I never would have got pregnant on my own).

I was a bit numb in the early pregnancy, but after a while realised that if I miscarries things would be so unbelievably bad for me/us that there was no point in contemplating it now.

I hated scans and remember having a panic attack on my way to one even though I could feel the baby moving

Overall, I kept myself busy, HG until 6 months took care of some of my thoughts (to Ill to focus), but overall I just took each day as another pregnant day.

I wish you all the very best.

Thank you all again for sharing your stories.

Congratulations please try acupuncture. It will help calm you and improve womb blood flow. It’s proven to help with Ivf on day of implantation.