Anxiety relationship and fb

[hippydippme]

So here's my question. I have a little anxiety about my relationship mostly it's all good but on fb he hasn't shared any pics of us together or on other social media and has kept his relationship status hidden. He says it's because of an ex but we're 6months in now, how long is it
Reasonable to wait before expecting some normal social media usage?
Is it a sign of feelings for his ex or is he not pleased to be seen with me?

I am mid 20‘s have had plenty of partners and never once changed my FB Status nor do I post couple pics online. I don’t need to post about my personal life for the world to comment on or see, I would feel very weird announcing to the world that I am dating, what I post on social media holds no weight to how I feel about certain people and certainly not who I date so YABU to give so much important to social media.

If he is hiding from everyone in his life YANBU to be worried but if everyone already know and you just want him to post it on FB YABVU.

Did he share photos of his ex when he was with her?

I’m married and have never changed my relationship status! The people who matter know, anyone else isn’t relevant and isn’t a friend merely an acquaintance...do you feel the need to tell work acquaintances or school-gate acquaintances all about your private life?
Work on why you have relationship anxiety may be productive.

Yeah lots of pics of ex on his fb. What I would say was normal use of fb..

I don't share any pictures of my husband. Didn't realise there was a certain way in which social media needs to be used to be classed as normal

reason #37 i have never had sm accounts because of this.

Ive been with my other half and have never changed my relationship status - its not even listed.

Although if I were you id want to find out exactly what it is to do with his ex that makes him not want too, as hes done it before

If you have anxiety about your relationship because of Facebook then delete Facebook.

I always find it bizarre when people don't delete photos of their ex's though (unless they had kids and the photos include them).

Why is Facebook the be all and end all these days?

I agree with deleting fb. You have anxiety over it so help yourself. Have you met his family and friends in real life?

I've been told by eldest DC that Facebook is only for old people now! Sorry, irrelevant to the OP.

Perhaps we're all 'too old' to be giving advice on FB 😂

Get off Facebook today

6 months is quite early OP, I didn't put anything on FB for about 2 years. Some people don't at all. I guess it depends on the stage/seriousness, and whether people feel the need to tell everyone.

Was he married or in a very long relationship? What were the circs of their split? Did they have children?

Is he still friends with his ex on FB? I would have a conversation with him if it's bothering you. I'd prefer to get to the bottom of the issue as it seems like there may be something underlying here. Best of luck.

As long as he’s happy to be seen with you in RL I wouldn’t worry too much.

I’m not even friends with my DP on FB (used to be but then we split for a while and I I unfriended him - seemed daft to then go back to being friends when we got back together as he barely uses it.)

He does still have things about his ex on there from many years ago, but apparently it was her driving it eg on Valentine’s Day she would sit with him and tell him what to write about her. (Knowing her I can fully believe this btw, I don’t think it’s a line!).

Otherwise it’s mainly other people tagging him in pics of his kids etc, he doesn’t post much himself. Does your BF post other things or tag other people and just not you, or is he quite reserved generally? If the latter then definitely don’t worry. If it’s the first one then maybe have a chat about it and explain that you see FB a certain way and ask how he sees it and the type of life he’s portraying on there, without you.

It’s actually quite liberating knowing that my DP won’t see everything I post, pages I like, comments I make on other people’s posts etc. I feel like I can be myself on there without being concerned that he’ll see me liking a post about relationships etc and take it personally.

Oh and my DP is still friends with his ex on there, as are most of his family, and they all share and tag photos of their DCs together so it makes sense for them to all be in touch. It used to bother me but tbh now I’m more secure in myself and I get it. It doesn’t mean anything.

You're screwed the second you start valuing your relationship based on what it looks like on social media. Surely you know that's not real?

How old are you both? Perhaps he has photos of him and his ex on there because he was younger then. I know that my previous relationships were shown on social media, and I would post regular photos. But then I realised that I needed to live, not convince other people I was living. So very little of my relationship now goes online.

If this is the meaning you give to social media, I would strongly recommend you just come off it. How you and your partner are together day to day is important. What other people see on social media is not.

I often think, from personal experience, that the happiest relationships are those that flaunt online the least.

I would judge it on how active he is on social media. Does he regularly post photos of himself with others? Or put updates on. I don't have hundreds of friends on Facebook but I would say 90% do post photos with their partners not sure whether they update their relationship status.