First time poster, never thought I’d be righting something like this on my first thread but here goes... it’s a long one btw!
I live in a block of flats, have done for the last four years. Relatively quiet area, everyone gets on, saids hi to each other etc. I keep myself to myself but am polite, will say hello and so on. I live on the ground floor and there is an elderly couple who live above me in a four bed house (extended into the attic). It is quite a large family as their grand children (I think 5 in total), one of their children and then obviously the grand parents live there. I only know this information because my mum is friendly with one of the grandparents (not close, but occasionally will have a chat outside the flats if they bump into each other).
I do hear them arguing and shouting quite a lot as the flat isn’t soundproof at all as it’s such an old building. I know that one of the grand children is autistic and she went missing for a couple of days a few months back (police involved) so I appreciate they must have a lot to deal with as a family. Anyway... my problem is, ever since I moved in there has been what I can only describe as feminine items dropped into my front and back garden. Things like used sanitary pads (yes you read that right) and cotton swabs. It use to happen quite a lot when I first moved in, I remember after the first two weeks of being here I found 4 used pads in my back garden. Obviously not wanting to leave them there, I put gloves on and disposed of them in the outside bin. This has happened on a few occasions, another time was when I came home from work and found about 10 used cotton swabs in my front garden and a couple of times I’ve opened my front door in the morning to find a pad right outside. There was actually one time I opened my front door and found a smashed fire alarm all across my front garden... very random.
There’s also been a couple of times where I’ve found fag buts in my front garden, I know one of the grand children smokes as I’ve seen him sat outside their front door (which is directly above my front garden) smoking, so I do have a hunch that he’s probably just throwing them into my garden once he’s finished. Over the last two years I would say it’s calmed down, but has still happened occasionally. I’ve noticed over the last couple of weeks it’s started back up again though much more frequently, for example tonight I noticed out of my bedroom window that there was a used pad outside the back door so had to go down and dispose of it.
When I first moved in, I would just dispose of them in the bin but I will admit over the last couple of years I have just been throwing them back over into their garden (their garden is behind mine, really weird lay out) to try and get the point across. I was hoping they may see them in their garden, realise and stop but it just hasn’t worked out that way.
I’ve never said anything to them in the last four years that I’ve been here, as at first I couldn’t actually tell if it was them or not (have never actually witnessed them doing it) and I think that’s why I’ve never confronted them. But to be honest I really don’t know who else it could be. My neighbour on the left side is an elderly lady who I’ve briefly chatted with and my other neighbour is a couple with a young child who I’ve also briefly chatted with, dropped of post when it’s been delivered to the wrong address etc so I really can’t imagine it being one of them doing this.
I’ve noticed that every time the pads are dropped into my back garden their always in the same place and their bathroom window is right above that particular space so that’s what brings me to believe it’s them doing it. I can’t imagine the grand parents would know about it as I’m sure they would be mortified so I can only assume it’s one of the grand children doing it, perhaps as a joke or maybe just out of pure laziness and not wanting to dispose of the items in the bin?
It’s getting to the point now where I’m really fed up. It’s not exactly nice having to dispose other people’s feminine items and I can’t exactly leave them in my garden either, as I don’t really fancy having my other neighbours thinking their mine and that I’m just a dirty cow. It’s also causing me anxiety because I’m constantly having to check both my gardens every night just to make sure there’s nothing there. I appreciate things like rubbish blowing in the wind can’t be helped, but this almost feels deliberate.
I’ve spoken to my mum about it a couple of times and she’s just told me to ignore it but how exactly can I? I’m not the confrontational type and neither is my mum (perhaps why she doesn’t want to deal with it) but I really don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want to cause trouble or start a war with my neighbours as I plan to be here for the next few years at least but should I really have to put up with this? Like I said before I appreciate they have a lot going on in their family and that’s perhaps why I’ve never said anything but it’s getting a tad ridiculous now. Perhaps I shouldn’t have let it go on this long but what the hell am I suppose to do now?
Help!!! AIBU?