Have you ever ghosted a friend?

[HalyardHitch]

Wibu to ghost my friend? It's not really the kind of person I am and doesn't sit right but I'm also not strong enough to confront.

Ds1 goes to a cute little Montessori preschool in the country side and goes up to the age of 7. It's not particularly different in price to her childs nursery fees. They have a mud kitchen, are out daily in wellies and waterproofs, go for woodland walks. In my view it's an incredible place.

Her (unprompted) comment was that private school prepares no child for the real world and he'll come out being unable to mix with people. She stated that it was "very middle class...let's put our hunters on darling and go and see the chickens". Ds1 also, we believe, has some mild aspergers. Preschool have raised concerns about a few things. At the same time as insulting his school she also said "and then if he gets a statement no school will want him because it will adversely impact their ofsted if they cant control him." She left soon after this.

All of this said within the space of about three minutes. I'm hurt and devastated that a friend would say all this to me so directly and harshly.

I also believe her to be wrong. Do I ghost? She's at a party I'm due to go to on friday - only maybe 6 women getting together for drinks at someone's house. I just dont know how to respond or react.

She's also told me previously that ds1 is the way he is because we give him too much attention for poor behaviour (he was playing up on a playdate).

I have ghosted a friend. It was a new friend I met on a course who became quite attached very quickly. She made both me and DP uncomfortable. She actually called me yesterday (didn't answer) and then sent me a text saying she saw me and could see that I am pregnant and offered lots of advice about my labour. Funny enough, she went to a private boarding school.

I think ghosting is horrible. Can't you tell her she upset you with her comments and see what she has to say in response?

Personally I ghosted rather than spoke to the person because their behaviour made me cautious about what she might do if I upset her.

Last time she upset me we were at a playdate at a.mutual friends house. She was later and just so happened to turn up just as we were starting to go. We had been there just over an hour and ds1 was going into the crazy, destructive, hyper mode that he has. Honestly, he was being a little toad. That evening she sent me a massive text monologue telling me all about his behaviour and explaining how my parenting has contributed to it (we give him too much attention for bad behaviour) and that she does x, y, z and it works well.

That said, she may be right - her ds1 can now happily play in his room for a playdate while I'm still pulling mine off the table. Although we feel ds1 plays up due to over stimulation or if he's unsure in a situation. We find holding him seems to regulate him back down. Time out only works him up into a frenzy and then a meltdown.

I guess she's picked up on my insecurities. And obviously if my child doesn't behave typically I am going to analyse and blame myself

Thank you all so much for backing my up. This happened friday evening and has been bugging me ever since.

The school are fab. We have semi regular meetings about ds1's development and they're now calling the inclusion officer in. Ds2 is also "fine" so it surely can't just be me

Don't ghost, it's childish and cruel. I agree what she said was unpleasant, but ghosting isn't the answer.

I have been ghosted by my best friend of 10 years, who whenever I try and resolve things just keeps saying 'if you don't know what you've done by now, you'll never get it'.

I've no fucking clue. And it's soul-destroying not having that closure or understanding why I've been cast off. Please don't do that to someone, whether you think they deserve it or not.

I did ghost one friend due to her spiteful and nasty comments about me which were wholly untrue. It was actually her husband that told me what she had been saying as he knew it was utter lies. She was always saying how awful a man her husband was, they ended up divorced. The truth came out afterwards, it wasn't him, it was her. I don't regret it, I don't want so called friends like her.

Maybe the first step would be to reduce contact. I was suprised to read that you consider that she isn't much of a friend, but you are in contact "a couple of times a week". That's more than I contact my closest friends and family. Why not just be neutral but friendly when you see her as part of your friendship group and don't really contact her outside of that.

I have to say that I wouldn't have stayed friends with her after the last time, but don't ghost. It's the easy option and it's also a manipulative, spiteful way to punish someone. Be the bigger person, tell her that she's upset you.