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Christmas-Family Politics!

8 replies

BelCuore · 26/11/2019 19:12

Where to start?! Christmas is always contentious. Last year we invited father-in-law, his partner and sister-in-law for Christmas Day. The invitation was repeated throughout September/October-father in law said no as they were going to spend it with partner's family; Sil said nothing until December when she (via DH) said she would come Xmas eve, Xmas day and Boxing Day (this was never offered) thus turfing youngest daughter out of her bed (this caused family arguments Xmas eve). FIL calls Xmas day and asks what we're planning (foodwise) Boxing day-when I told him he suggested we book a restaurant (I can laugh at this now but at the time I was royally p**d off). Roll on one year....given the rudeness last year we have decided to keep our heads invites (given they weren't taken up last yr) doing so DH skimmed the topic of Xmas-SIL's response (in same sentence) was "I haven't even thought about Xmas....I presumed we were all coming to you".... I am silently raging. Why should we accommodate this year when last year they didn't want to know or we were treated as a back up? Apparently now they're all expecting that we host them this year. To finish off, this is a father who is lacking any emotional sensitivity and told DH he'd have preferred to stay at home on DH's Birthday rather than have visited for family bbq. Why are some families SUCH a letdown?!?M😩😭

OP posts:

CoffeeWithMyOxygen · 26/11/2019 19:14

Simple solution is to just tell them you’re not hosting this year, don’t enter into a debate.


80skid · 26/11/2019 19:24

I feel for you and envy families who don't suffer political shenanigans. My wise words are that if you try to please everyone, chances are everyone will be disappointed and you harassed. If you try to please yourself, at least you'll be pleased!
Happy Christmas. Don't forget to factor your own happiness into negotiations Thanks


Apackoflips · 26/11/2019 19:30

Yep - please yourself and dont invite anyone if you dont want them. Rude lot . Let them do the meal themselves while you stay in your cosy house with your own family and really enjoy the day (and your youngest Dd can keep her own bed!)


FraglesRock · 26/11/2019 19:33

Sorry we're not hosting anyone this year.


CravingCheese · 26/11/2019 19:37

Agree with the PPs.
'sorry, we're not hosting.' You could also add something about wanting to have a very calm and small Christmas (if you want to be a bit more conciliatory, I guess).


YouTheCat · 26/11/2019 19:38

Just say no. It's plenty early enough for them to make other arrangements.


ThePortIsSunny · 26/11/2019 19:49

Don't apologise, just say you've got plans on that day. You can meet up at a restaurant in between Christmas and New year if your dh feels the need to see his family l.


BelCuore · 27/11/2019 00:23

Thanks all....DH is happier not seeing them tbh, always uptight when they're around. Sad but it is what it is. Will follow the advice of put your own happiness first-always go out of our way to keep others happy but it's seldom returned-maybe something to reflect on/change for the new year 😉

OP posts:
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