Christmas presents, not spending the same amount on both kids

[Polydactyly]

I have 7 year old DS and a baby who will have no clue what the fuss about due to being so young. DS has been asking for a year or so for a games console that costs around £300. I’ve said no every time because it was too much money. This year DP and I discussed it and are getting him what he wants having saved up. From us, this is all he is getting aside from a few sweets and I think DS will be absolutely happy with that. Especially as he will be getting related items and then some from others as well.
DD will only be a few months old at Christmas and trying to figure out what to buy her is difficult because she can’t ask for anything.
I’ve decided on some handmade knitted rattles and possibly a couple of learning toys but for the most part she has plenty that her brother has passed down to her and still in good condition.
I’ve got her some clothes because she will need them and a lovely personalised book about her first Christmas.
It’s come to nowhere near what we’ve spent on her brother and My sister and mum think I’m terrible for buying an expensive gift for one child and not spending the same on my second child.
I don’t know if I am being unreasonable here.
On the one hand, she won’t have a clue what’s going on but On the other I do see that it might come across as unfair.
I could put the spare money in her savings maybe? But then I don’t know if that’s completely necessary and spending money for the sake of it.

I find the whole attitude of the same amount of money a bit strange tbh. The same level of enjoyment/fun fine, but pounds... What kid cares? Mine don't.

I do find a 7 year old asking for a £300 console a bit shocking though. £300 bloody hell!

I think thats completely fine given their ages. She wont have any idea, your DS will enjoy his games. When they get to the age where they bith understand cost a d value then I'd obviously treat them the same.

No you don't need to spend the same on the two. You also don't need the games console to set the precedent for Xmas spending each year.

My son got an Xbox for xmas when he was seven. We couldn't afford it from our income and used money that had been given to him over the years that we had put in premium bonds. He still uses it daily now he is ten and often plays online with his classmates.

Straight after Xmas he said "next year I'll have a PS4". I told him "no you won't- Santa has saved all year for your game console and next year it is another child's turn" and meant it. We have not spent that much at a Christmas again.

My little one wasn't born when my eldest got his Xbox but if he had been and was say 2 years old I would have no problem getting the eldest the Xbox and the youngest a £25 kitchen/puzzles/bubbles at all.

If you can afford to pop £100 in the bank or a premium bond for your little one then do - it might help you out towards something they want later. If you can't no worries.

What on Earth do your mum and sister purpose you buy for your baby? A gold rattle maybe.

My kids are 2.5 years apart and it’s only now as teens that I think about spending the same amount. Ive always made sure that it will feel commensurate to them. So a similar amount of parcels and things they will value equally, but doing penny for penny seems unnecessary.

Sammy867 DP is all for giving the kids tech due to his job but when she’s 7/8 I’d probably say okay if she asked for a console and try and remind DS that he’s had many consoles over the years given for free or this one he got from us. There’s a new one all the time that he will no doubt want one of before she’s 7 as well. I do think it would be fairer to put a bit of money in her savings but I don’t think either will really be that bothered about these things because hopefully they’ll understand (or at least ds will be old enough to understand by that point) that we spend a lot of them both so they wouldn’t need to be jealous of an iPad that’s been asked for etc

Ohyesiam, this is what I asked... neither have a clue apparently that’s my job as mum to work it out!
I’m looking forward to what they get both kids because I expect they’ve figured out how to make it completely equal!

messolini9 - she’s the oldest but not the golden child. That title belongs to middle sister I think. I had DS young (ish I was early 20s) and became the black sheep that way. As a child I was told I was the spoilt one and the favourite but I don’t have good memories of it to be honest

YANBU. I have always tried to get my DC what they wanted (if within budget) and roughly a similar quantity of stocking presents. When they were younger they didn't really now how much stuff cost anyway. Now they are teen/tween. Last year DD wanted an iPhone. I bought a 2nd hand one but I dont think I spent as much on DS as he didnt want anything especially expensive. This year he wants an xbox, DD wants various less expensive items, so will likely spend more on him this year.

Sunni he definitely won’t be getting another console next year. This one needs to last him! I’m very good at saying no if I’m honest but this year we wanted to say yes. It didn’t take much persuading of dp so I expect he’ll want ds to play a racing game with him or something

Purpleartichoke That is the best saying about Christmas I’ve heard so far! I will be using that from now on! I haven’t asked for anything myself this year because I don’t really know of anything I want or need. What’s the point of I’m not going to actually want it?

YANBU at all. A baby only needs a few small gifts. They wouldn't appreciate anything more.

My oldest lad is 11 daughter 4 her first Xmas she got a few bits while he got what he wanted as they grow what they want money wise will work its self out this year son has only asked for one thing he will get little bits aswell but daughter has a list aslong as my arm son admits he's out growing toys an never plays with them so doesn't mind what's spent aslong as he gets the one thing he's asked for don't feel guilty for being sensible you will find less the toys baby has the more play they get out of them

I've never spent the same on my kids they get what they are interested in. My eldest got a wii the year my youngest was born, youngest got a couple of small baby toys. Kids don't notice how much they cost.

YANBU at all, it all balances out over the years - when your oldest is working you might spend less on him whereas your youngest will still be a teenager then.