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AIBU to ask for your best tips on how to radiate complete calm for son's sake ahead of surgery

6 replies

calmama · 26/11/2019 10:54

My son is having his first operation on Thursday. Don't really want to go into details. It's not the worst surgery in the world, but he'll have a general anaesthetic for the first time. He's not even 3 yet :(

I need my son to feel I am calm and stable so he can be as relaxed as possible. I've done well in the past and was solid as a rock when I cared for my terminally ill partner when I was much younger, but this time it's different. I'm worried I might cry which won't help him at all.

Naturally I'm stressed given the circumstances so I've got less than two days to override the stress and achieve complete zen!

Please send your best calming strategies through!

OP posts:

han01uk · 26/11/2019 10:57

Lots of distraction... bubbles,stickers,music,iPad,bribery of snacks after anaesthetic. My son has had 40+ general anaesthetics between 2.5 and 4yrs for eye cancer. Distraction is the key,plus keeping everything crossed you're first on the list. Good luck.


Papergirl1968 · 26/11/2019 11:03

You can cry after he’s gone into theatre. I did and my dd was about 12. At our hospital they let parents stay with their child till they’ve gone to sleep. It’s so hard walking away and leaving them but you just have to trust the medical staff know what they’re doing.


Waffles80 · 26/11/2019 11:38

I think when it comes to the time, you will find all your reserves of calm and stay strong. Obviously sending you luck and hugely calming vibes too, but be confident that you can and will do it for him.

As a little aside, and not to worry you at all, but to help you be prepared, if you are with him when he goes under the GA that can be a little scary and it might be that point when you wobble. He will be safely asleep and in great hands at that point, you should force yourself to have a sugary drink/ biscuit / banana. If you can take an iPad and watch crap tv during his operation that will help take your mind of the torment of waiting.


calmama · 26/11/2019 12:04

@han01uk Gosh, your poor son. And you! I feel bad being so stressed given I realise there are worse situations to be in. I hope your son is doing better now.

@Papergirl1968 They told me I will be able to go into the theatre with him until he goes to sleep which is great.

@Waffles80 Thank you :) I will definitely try those things. Though I'm sure watching the anaesthetic hit him will be the moment of truth for me. I unfortunately saw him go into shock when he had an unknown allergic reaction when he was just eight-months-old that's tattooed on my brain. It was terrifying, which probably contributes to the stress now. But perhaps given I expect the reaction from the anaesthetic it will be easier this time.

OP posts:

han01uk · 26/11/2019 15:20

calmama - there is absolutely nothing worse than saying goodbye in the anaesthetic room,it breaks your heart,but I am sure your little one will be fine. It doesn't get any easier whether it's the first or the 40th anaesthetic,thankfully we are through the other side and no more special sleeps for him. Good luck. Stay calm. Opt for the numbing cream and cannula insertion if you can rather than gas,obviously not sure on your situation or if that's possible,but definitely easiest way to go under for them.


MrOnionsBumperRoller · 26/11/2019 16:00

Imagine him and yourself cocooned in a protective pink bubble. Sounds mad but works for me!

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