Mumsnet Logo
My feed

to access all these features


To worry this much about TTC a 3rd child at age 42 using embryos frozen 8 years ago?

3 replies

Firecracker2019 · 25/11/2019 18:44

I have embryos (not eggs) in storage from fertility treatment a few years ago.
I want to try for a 3rd child and DH is willing, though not as keen as I. I'm pretty conflicted myself but have been wanting to try on and off for about a year and the feeling isn't going away. I don't want to regret not trying later down the line but still....
Holding me back are worries about late pregnancy loss / stillbirth / a premature or otherwise difficult birth / a disabled child?
My embryos are from me at age 34 so not the same risks as conceiving afresh now at 42. But how risky is pregnancy itself for me? And am I right to worry so much about all the possible risks to me and any baby? And also worry about twins or more....! I worry about the impact of any issues on not only me or baby but also DH and our two kids.
How does anyone try for a third child, or more than that?
I've had two early miscarriages previously and have two healthy children and had two births without any lasting issues or medical emergencies.
DH says my gut is telling me to stop now at two. I had worries with the previous pregnancies which proved right in two out of the four. But I still felt more able to ignore the worries about all the possible what-ifs and try to get pregnant (again).
Equally I can't shake the feeling of wanting to try for just one more. I worry my two kids are growing up top fast, won't get on as adults, won't stay close to me (not necessarily physically!) or that one might get ill or something bad happen to them at some point...
I'm going crazy.
How real are the risks and how does anyone get past them to try for a third?

OP posts:

Firecracker2019 · 14/01/2020 16:53


OP posts:

Ponoka7 · 14/01/2020 16:59

Only you can decide.

What I will say is most women have a surge of being broody, just before the peri menopause.

I had three, but had a big age gap, so it was only like having two, in terms of childcare and school runs.

You just need to examine if you really want to put yourself through it all again and consider what the effect on your family, having a third would mean.


Absa · 14/01/2020 17:02

I can't really offer any advice but just wanted to keep the thread active for you. I'm 33 now, will be 34 when I have my first. I think you just have to be really sure of what you want and why you want it. The risks will be greater but there isn't a guarantee that you'll suffer from those risks - perhaps speak to a specialist and ask their advice?

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Already signed up?