To have dragged it up after all this time?*trigger rape*

[NewYoiker]

Today I reported the man who groomed me and attempted to rape me when I was 15 and he was 18. For the last 13 years I thought about this a lot. I don't know why I reported it today, my therapist has been talking about forgiveness for a while and I didn't feel like I could move on without reporting it.

Did I do the right thing? My DH knew roughly what happened but no one else did, I've been struggling with the concept of forgiveness and we've been thinking about starting to ttc and I genuinely couldn't move forward. I don't even think they'll be able to do anything as it happened such a long time ago, I can't help feeling like if this goes anywhere I will have ruined his life, I know he's married now.

But it doesn't take away the fact he tried to rape me, and it was only the fact the door rang that he stopped and I ran out of his house shoeless and beaten. I rang my mum to get me and she did. She asked what happened and i lied.

My head is a mess.

You did the right thing and any consequences he may or may not face are down to him NOT you.

Of course you did the right thing!! Hugs

And if his life gets ruined, that's because HE ruined it. Not you.

You definitely did the right thing, and it's a brave and important step. You never know it may add to other reports. I hope it helps you heal. Xx

You are not responsible for keeping this a secret in order to protect his life! HE is responsible for his own actions and the consequences that come from them.

I would say though that you need to brace yourself that this may get dropped or that if it does go somewhere it’s not going to be easy for you. Sadly victims of rape are treated with little respect in court. No matter what though you should be proud of yourself, you’ve been incredibly brave.

Thanks :) tbh I'm just glad it's out of me

WTF?
Why are you supposed to forgive him?
On the advice of a therapist you were presumably paying megabucks to!

Well done on reporting him, I hope that it brings you some peace of mind.
Find a new theapist.

You've done the right thing. HIS actions caused this. You may not have been his only victim.
I hope you manage to find some peace, I honestly can't even begin to imagine what the last year's have been like for you. My heart is aching though for that little girl who went through that and then lied to her mother :( I'm so glad your husband in supportive. And well done for reporting this, that was so brave x

I'm sorry you've been through such a a trauma and I imagine this mans actions has a lot to do with your struggles with forgiveness and moving on, as someone who's been through a similar experience I can only say how brave you are!! I have battled with mental health issues for about 18 years following my experience. You have suffered plenty and do not at all need to worry about his life although I understand why you would as it's what stopped me being brave enough to report my attacker when it all came to the surface last month... I wish I had your courage you're an inspiration! Time is not a healer on its own when it comes to abuse, the trauma and effects on your brain do not just subside, therapy is the best route and if it's brought you to that point then you can take that as a personal victory of your own strength, the have gone through that, lived with it for years and then processed to the point of action is all down to your own strength of character. Wishing you a happy future!!